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Friendless, alone, depressed
Hey everyone. So I have been reallyyy depressed. It's senior yr of high school for me and I have no friends. I moved to a new town, and I feel 100% invisible. I am not kidding when I say that no one knows me. Instead of eating in the cafeterias I go to the bathroom in a stall until lunch is over. The school is so big. Sometimes I go to the library. Everyone at my school thinks I got kicked out (not true), n to make a long story short, I left with 0 friends from there. And I'm not antsocial or weird or anything, I'm normal but idk I feel boring and like I am just "passing time" when I talk to most people. College is starting in august, but I don't know what to do until then. I feel so alone. And to make things worse, my parents are totally work obsessed and have no friends of their own either. I'm pretty sure they are depressed too. I feel like i prob picked up many of my social habits from my parents unfortunately. Also, my sister just left home for a job so I feel lonelier than ever. Spending most of it time with yr parents just gets reallyy old sometimes. I just really wish I had friends, but I know there's no hope right now for making friends because there is only a few weeks left of high school. What am I going to do in the summer before college? I feel really sad, deperessed and alone.
I also feel really jealous of the people who can make friends so easily and are so likeable. Do u all have any advice for me on that?
I wish my parents would understand, but they can't and even if they did it would be impossible for them to help.
I tried to be more outgoing at my previous school, but after I got many many "friends" I realized they weren't people who really liked me for me. I wasn't being true I myself, just to be in the popular crowd. It worked but I wasn't enjoying myself with those people. I canname only about 3-4 true friends I have had, and they were mainly from middle school and people I have lost touch with. I have been completely friendless for about 2 years now and it's really taking it's toll on me mentally.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I feel sad for what you are going through since I go through the same problem. However, I am happy that you did not miss out the most important part of your thoughts that you have put in the question. You actually already have almost found the solution of your problem. Read carefully the last paragraph of your question (THE LAST TWO LINES). You mentioned their you were outgoing (I suppose against your natural behaviour) in your previous school. You do not have to change tourself to make friends. I suppose you would like to make true friends rather than some name sake friends. If someone can not take you as you are, no need to have him or her as a friend. If you take such persons as friends they won't be beside you at your troubled times. At the same time, however, I would like to mention that we all are human beings and none of us are flawless. You cannot define a true friend as some one who will take 100% of you as you are. That is only a theoretical possibility but certainly not a realistic one. The simplest guideline (it is only my opnion, you can very well disagree) that I can give you is, (to make a friend) judge a person by measuring his qualities (both positive and negative). For instance, suppose you have met a classmate who you want to have as a friend of yours. To decide, first try to spend sometime with that person whenever you get an opportunity. After some days you will definitely have a basic idea about the type of person he or she is. Now it is your time to judge him or her. While judging, do not consider only the negative aspects of the person. If you do so, you will never be able to make a friend. If the person has 10 qualities in him, at least 5 of which are positive, he is indeed the right person to be your friend!. However, please use your common sesnse as well and don't take my advice as absolute. For instance, you notice that 9 out of 10 qualities that your classmate possess is positive but very minor in nature and do not necessarily bear any significance for friendship, do not take those aspects into consideration. If, even though he has 9 positive aspects, the only negative quality he has has significant impact on friensship, perhaps he is not the right person. On the other hand, if he has 9 negative qualities (all of which are not so important in friendship and only one positive aspect (which is an absolute necessity in friendship), he may be worth to have as a friend. I have not mentioned any quality specifically (like honesty, truthfullness, etc) simply because what I think should be in a friend may not match with what you think. So apply your common sense and enjoy life! Hope I have helped you and May God Bless You endlessly.
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Well High School is really hard, and most of us when we get there loose a lot of our friends, but people change and move on. Just be yourself, i know you tried to change yourself to get friends and you found out that it doesnt work, i promise that if you just be yourself and talk to some people you will make friends, dont sit in the bathroom or the library at lunch GET OUT THERE! i know it can be scary but you dont want a bad summer and if you make some new friends no you will have a lot to do over the summer =] and your senior year is supposed to be the funnest so dont ruin it for yourself. When you in class just start talking to someone about their weekend or school and then after you've talked for a while be like we should hang out sometime and give them your number and get theirs. it can be hard to make friends and dont be discourage if you guys dont become very close just keep trying with different people, high school is hard enough let a lone being the new kid so get out there and show everyone who you really are =] i wish you the best and i hope i helped =] if you have anymore questions feel free to go to my column and personally ask me.
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