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Scared of the dark?


Question Posted Monday April 6 2009, 6:31 pm

I am sixteen, and since I was small, I've always been scared of the dark. I don't mind when it's dark but there's streetlights, but if it's dark, outside or inside, I'm scared shitless.
I was mildly scared in my old house, but in my current house I am absolutely terrified, especially as this house gives off such a negative feeling (but that's another thing)
I just wish I could overcome this but I can't. I mean I can sleep with my lights off but if I have to go to the toilet at night, I have to turn on the biggest light in my room, then the light in the corridor and then the bathroom.
Any advice, please? And no stupid comments, that's no use to anyone.


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christina answered Tuesday April 7 2009, 11:41 am:
I'm 18 and still afraid of the dark, though for me, it all depends on how dark it is. If it's dark, but I can still see where I'm going, then I'm fine & I'm not all that scared but if it's pitch black & I can't see anything, then I'm scared shitless pretty much.

This might sound a little embarrassing but ask your mom or whoever for a nightlight for the bathroom, your room & the hallway (corridor). My mom did that not only for me but for herself because she liked the added lights. And honestly, who wants to turn on lights when your eyes are used the dark. It's practically blinding.

To be honest, I think the nightlights are really helpful for me because I still do it & I'm not really embarrassed by it.

I think the best way for you to get over your fear though, is to conquer it. Just remember that nothing is going to get you, and you'll be fine. Maybe spend 5 minutes in the dark by yourself & then once you realize you're okay, keep going & adding some time to it.

I think you should be fine. Being afraid of the dark is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about because I'm still scared of it, and I'm older than you. :)

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familyfirst answered Tuesday April 7 2009, 9:37 am:
Your last comment made me almost pass up answering this because I don't know what you consider a stupid comment... but I decided to answer anyway.

As I am sure you know, fear of the dark is one of the most common fears. It is not childish or anything to be ashamed of. One thing that bothers me is when people tell you "you should try to conquer your fear". If you are afraid of say, milk or air perhaps. If you are afraid of spiders or rats or the dark... avoid it!!!

You need to make an assessment of why you are afraid of the dark as this may be something covering a more serious underlying concern or fear. If something terrible happened to you as a child, you may need to get professional help. If you had a robber in your house or something equally as frightening happened to you in a dark area, you may need help to resolve that issue and the fear of dark will settle on its own.

We have a right to be afraid of the dark because it is usually for a reason such as... we can't see potential dangers. If outside, you can't see if there is a mugger or a rabid dog or raccoon, for example. If inside, you can't see if you are about to fall down the steps or run into a cabinet. There are actual dangers in the dark. Our eyes can take the smallest bit of light and bend it into tricking our brains that there is something moving ahead. Have you ever stared at something (in full light) and realized that it was moving or at least had a tremor? I have done that. Now imagine you do that in the dark? Now you can't really see anything, but you know whatever it is is moving! That can play horrible tricks on the brain.

If this is just a common fear of the dark, I recommend night lights. I have four set up strategically around my house. There is one in the two bedrooms where my kids sleep (our rooms all open at the same point in our hallway so I see their doors from my bedroom door and their lights therefore give me just enough in my room but not so much I can't sleep). I have one in the bathroom and one in the kitchen. This is enough light that no matter where I am in the house I have a bit of light.

You are in a new house which can be a bit scarey anyway but then you added that extra little comment of it giving off negative feelings. No wonder you don't want to be in the dark.

As you get older you may find you get over this naturally but until this happens (or not) I suggest you just give into it and have nightlights. A little 4-watt bulbs that offers enough light to break the darkness is much nicer than a 60-watt bulb that fully wakes you up and can cause difficulty falling back to sleep.

Hopefully this was not stupid or useless to your situation. I wish you the best of luck and remember, anything we feel we are allowed to feel. If you are afraid of the dark, this is who you are and you should not be ashamed of it. If this turns into a fear of air... we need to talk more.

Good luck.

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HotSauce answered Tuesday April 7 2009, 9:33 am:
Scared of the dark, I use to be afraid of the dark when I was younger. I don't actually know how I achived to get over it. Perhaps just try to work through it, with the lights off. I mean you said no stupid comments, but we must realize there is hardly anything in the dark to hurt us other then maybe a door we could stub are toe on. I mean the worst thing I can think of in the dark is if you were in the area to get robbed, but it's probable a long shot. You just have to convince yourself that it's nothing but dark, and nothing can hurt you.

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