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virginity
so i have been with my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years and it hasn't always been a walk in the park. We've had our fights and break ups but we never stay broken up for more than like 5 days. Lately things have been really good and we have been messing around a lot lately. Like we've never had sex because i thought i wanted to wait until marriage but now i think that i want to lose my virginity to him and i don't know why things have changed like that. So i don't know if I should have sex with him or wait until marriage. He never pressures me to do anything with him I just think it's weird that all of a sudden I changed my mind. I'm 17 and so is he. Should I lose my virginity to him?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
A few things to keep in mind:
If you can't talk about it, you shouldn't be doing it. So if you can't have an honest and mature discussion with your boyfriend about it then I recommend waiting.
Chances are, your first time won't be all that great, so don't expect too much.
Be prepared. Get on birth control, buy condoms, use both. Planned Parenthood is great.
And if you have any doubt at all...just wait. There's no hurry, and it's not something you can take back.
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As far as my personal ideologies are concerned, I would recommend you to remain a virgin. I guess this is one of God's greatest gifts and and also a valuable asset of yours as far as your moral side is concerned. Wait until marriage, understand him more, and try to read beyond physical attractiveness. I do not know if you have started to feel that I think like an old man, but I have simply expressed my honest opinion and I stand by it.
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This happens more than you think, so don't think you're the only one.
Before you loser your virginity to him, ask yourself these questions.
-Is it my choice?
-Will I be safe? (condom, pills)
-Does he have any diseases?
-Do I really love him?
-Will I regret this later?
-Will I be able to tell my parents?
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First of all, figure out why you changed your mind, and then wait at least three weeks.
Three weeks might sound a little arbitrary (and it is) but that is my advice to you.
Have a good idea of why you changed your mind about waiting until marriage. It doesn't need to be a perfect, exactly right idea, but you should have some understanding of your own thinking that goes deeper then 'I wanna'. People are of course allowed to change their mind, but when it's about something that is a rather big deal, it's always better to know why.
There could be lots of very good reasons to have rethought your position: You might have drifted away from your religion lately or discovered you don’t agree with other things it suggests. You might have become more educated about safe sex, so you are less frightened by unknown risks. You might simply be more curious then you were before. However, there are also some not so great reasons, like trying to solidify a relationship that isn’t going to well right now, or feeling the need to ‘get it over with’. Once you think you have at least an idea of what changes your in personal beliefs have made pre-marital sex more acceptable to you now then it was before, wait three weeks. If after three weeks you still think your reasons make sense and aren’t self-destructive, then you are confident enough in your own thoughts to approach your boyfriend for his opinions and perspectives.
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