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regaining my mothers trust
okay so today my grades from school came in. suuucked! you see, i usually get a's and maybe one or two b's. but this time i got some c's. so my mom was really really mad at me since i kept tellin her that i was doin good in school. also she asked me why i was so tired sometimes. so she ended up taking my phone away.
i had no time to erase any of my text messages. but i handed her the phone. not only did she read a lot of my text messages, she viewed who i was callin, who was callin me, and voice mail ppl had left me. i feel like i have no privacy at all. :(
anyway, after my mother had gone through all the spying, she came into my room and asked me all these questions. she asked me who carlos was. of course i knew that was my bf but i never told her i had a bf because i knew she wouldnt accept that. so i lied to her and said he's just my friend. but she caught me. she knew i was lieing. she told me she also knew why i was tired all the time. it was because of my late phone calls i had with my boyfriend. she said that i have no respect for her, all i do is lie, and that i have a dirty mouth. Also that she has no reason to believe anything i say to her anymore.
i feel horrible since i made her cry. i dont know what i am goin to do...what should i do??!
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Thanks for inboxing. First of all, I'm sorry about this fight with your mom and I know how you feel. I've been in this position, and basically, it sucks...big time. But anyways...
I want to start by saying:
NEVER LIE TO YOUR PARENTS, ESPECIALLY your mother. Do you see where lying gets you? NOWHERE! You're upset, your mom is upset. You have no phone, your mom is crying. It's awful!
That being said, you need to give your mother some time and space. Give her a few days to recover from this incident. Then, you need to sit down and talk to her.
First, let her know that YOU know you were wrong. Because honestly, YOU are the one whose wrong here, not your mother. I know admitting that you're wrong is hard to do, trust me I'm one of the most stubborn people around, but this is a situation where it's absolutely apparent that you made a mistake (or a few...).
Then, APOLOGIZE. Your mother is just looking out for you, it's her job to make sure that you're ok. It's her instinct to make sure that you're not getting into trouble. She only wants what's best for you, and nothing less or nothing more. Sit down with her, tell her that you're sorry and mean it. Don't just (what us teenagers LOVE to do), BS an apology. Explain to her why you lied to her and tell her everything. Tell her about your boyfriend, tell her about your grades and tell her that you are having late night conversations. Tell her that you're going to learn from your mistakes and that this will not (because it really shouldn't) happen again.
Finally, compromise. Don't beg for your phone back. Ask her when SHE feels you should get your phone back. Perhaps when you get your grades up? Or when you stop having secret late night phone call time with your boyfriend?
The bottom line: lying will get you nowhere in life. And as you've learned, it will ALWAYS cause you more trouble than telling the truth. Next time, tell your mom the truth and avoid all of the drama, for both of you.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you :)
If you need any more help, just let me know!
-Laura (16-f)
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