|
Bisexuality.
I'm a 17 year old girl and for a few years now I've been bi-curious. I very recently got out of a relationship with a boyfriend and through the 16 months i was with him i told him and he fully accepted it. Mostly to the hope it would some day lead to a threesome. I thought that if i was seriously interested in women that i would just know, but recently i just don't understand what i'm going through.
For the past few years I've been wondering if i was bisexual because I was, and still am sexually attracted to men and women. I just could never imagine myself in a relationship with another woman. When i was with my ex boyfriend, because i was so in love with him it never occurred to me to be with another woman but since we've broken up, i just feel like, i could be with a girl or a guy but I just don't know.
Do you just...know when your bi? Can i just become bi? Is it something your just born with? Help?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
So theres this girl I know.
Lets call her Hannah.
Hannah was in a long term relationship, but had had leanings like yours for a while. She'd only ever dated guys.
Her boyfriend was like yours, he encouraged her interest in girls with similar hopes, and eventually she spent the night with another girl.
She realized that she was fully bi, could date a woman conceivably but still very much liked guys.
Lets talk now about Linda.
Linda was the girl Hannah spent the night with. Linda had similar leanings, and had wondered. After that night, she realized she had no particular draw to girls, and didn't really want to be with one a second time.
The common thread here is sex, but I'm not saying that you have to go sleep with a girl to find out. What you need is intimacy. A first kiss should tell you alot about how you feel about it. Do you kiss and the curiosity just kind of fades, and you realize that its almost a little uncomfortable, or do you feel that soaring feeling of attraction and the little flips your stomach does during a first kiss?
Linda felt the first, and Hannah felt the second. Until you at least go through the motions of dating a girl, being interested in a girl physically, along those lines you probably won't be able to work it out.
The "I can't imagine dating a girl" is more because of societal conditioning and the assertion that "you are straight" you've been under up until a few years ago than it is because of your internal desires.
Its definitely alot harder to figure out than gay or straight. Bisexual you can feel attraction for both, but gay or straight you get to rule one out, and its generally alot easier to say no than it is to know when you should say yes.
Another girl said something below I kind of agree with. I think alot more people would be gay or bi did it not still have a lingering stigma.
I personally know that I'm not attracted to guys, but I was raised in a strict catholic family, and my cousin Amy IS bisexual. She's somewhat shunned by the rest of the family (I adore her, as the only other black sheep) and is not allowed to bring her partner to family gatherings.
If I WERE gay, I would probably still be in the closet to most of the world. If I were bi, I think I'd be able to figure it out, but I'd never be able to admit it to anyone or do anything about it.
If you think you are, its worth exploring. If its a part of who you are its something you need to figure out and embrace one way or another, even if you learn that you don't want to date girls and are just attracted to them sexually. It will be one more piece of yourself that you can claim as your own, something you know that no one can take away.
]
I am a 21 yr old female and I started dating girls when I was 18. I am bisexual. I wondered and thought about girls my entire life. I didnt really think about actually dating them like you said you dont but I did think about hooking up with them. Thinking about hooking up with girls always turned me on more than thinking about hooking up with guys. But I never really did anything about it because what could I really do ya know?? I always had boyfriends and didnt tell anyone that I was attracted to girls. But right after I started college a girl came to work at my job who was a lesbian and me and ehr started hanging out as friends and it just went from there and I was with her for about a month. And I have been with girls since then.
I think that alot of people are probably bi and just dont say anything about it. Because really how do you bring something like that up out of no where especially if you dont even know if you want to have a relationship with a girl.
I didnt just know that I was. I knew I had the thoughts but I told myself that it was normal. I kind of tried to deny it. But I kind of knew in the back of my head that at if the opportunity ever came up, I would jump on it.
I believe its soemthing that your born with. I dont think that you just wake up one day and say wow im bisexual, without ever having any thoughts or signs.
]
with me personally i think that you just know from when you are born to what you like sexually from experiences like with me i am bi and i knew like forever but some people convert
]
Sexual orientation refers to the gender(s) to which one is attracted, so if you experience attraction to both men and women, it would make sense to say that you are bisexual.
Keep in mind that being bisexual does not necessarily mean that you are equally attracted to both genders. Some bisexuals might prefer one gender more, but still experience attraction to the other.
Also, attraction does not necessarily equate to desire to act on it.
Like all other sexualities, there is no known cause that the majority of the scientific community agrees on. Likewise, there is no proven way of changing one's orientation.
There's no rush to label yourself. If you aren't sure, you don't have to be. Just don't deny your own feelings.
]
More Questions: |