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how I can be happy with my EX WIFE
We are divocred last 8 years she got married again and she ignored me badly. now Iam clean with my addction problem and last 2 years she was seperated and divorced from the husband we have 02 kids we both dating every day after i sleep with her i get so mad and start fighting and go away after one day Ineed her iwant to marry her and live happy life with my kids she want the same please help us. I never had any relation ship with any body after her.
HELPLESS FATHER
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First and foremost, I think you should really remind yourself that she is your EX. That said, you should probably not be sleeping with her. In love or not, sex can cause some extreme emotional complications if you aren't making love under the right conditions.
If you both want this bad enough, I have no doubt that there is the potential to make it work. Love can overcome some incredible obstacles. But first, you should talk about the underlying issues that made you split in the first place, how you both are feeling- the good, the bad, the ugly, and what you both want to change. Any relationship worth having is based off of honesty. So try taking a step back for awhile and connecting on a less passionate level (I realize this can be difficult when you love someone, but which is more difficult... cooling it a little or continuing this emotional roller coaster ride you're on?)
Another important issue you need to address is your children. You don't want to take them with you on this adventure if it's going to end badly, so you and your ex need to make sure that you absolutely want this AND that you think you have the tools and the strength to make it work before you make them go through watching their parents split a second time.
As I mentioned before, I would highly recommend starting to rebuild a strong foundation by sharing your feelings with one another- This way you can pinpoint problems you need to solve and earn one another's trust again. Then, after you have done this and she has moved on completely from her last husband, you could resume dating and a sexual relationship.
Since this woman and the family you have together clearly means the world to you, you should consider going to relationship counseling together. It sounds like you have a complex past and your present situation is not typical either- the help of a professional might do you a world of good and put the two of you back on the right track to getting back together.
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8 years is a long time to be divorced. I'm very surprised she is back with you. Very surprised. It's quite rare for a woman to go back to her ex, on any level, especially after such a long time. I think she must really care for you.
Why do you get angry with her? Are you jealous that she was remarried while you were out of the picture? You must be more understanding. She had a life to live and while you were getting clean, you may not have noticed time flying by, but I assure you, she did.
You need to get in touch with your emotions and deal with the reason you had an addiction in the first place and learn how you can get on with life, putting the past behind you. If you don't you will blow it the second time around.
That said, I congratulate you on your success in beating your addiction! That is a milestone. Even if things don't work out with your ex, you will have quite a choice of women. Clean men, with the strength to do what you did, are hard to come by.
Lighten up and enjoy life!
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