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Titles can't sum this up ! its about love,yah dig?
Okay, so, this may be long-im sorry. But Its been on my mind for 2 years and i feel like if someone out there feels this way too, they could help me as to what to do.
2 years ago,I had a boyfriend that i really did like. He was great, we felt instantly connected. Somehow,i loved him right when i saw him...i don't know how. But back then i was shy and unhappy, so i couldn't be who i was with him-seeing as he just made me even more nervous.I recall one time,when someone actually said "All guys want is to get in your pants!" and he whispered in my ear "i would never." I knew he ment it,its just who he was. After a month or two, i wimped out and broke up with him. For reasons like-we didn't talk much,hangout,and i was positive he could find someone better. And even though it was that short of a time-i still feel like i should be with him. I've found myself liking guys that have his features. His personality is exactly like mine,now(2 years later). He's moved on,had other girlfriends. After we broke up,he was so mean to me.i told him to never talk to me again. Then he apologized and i asked him if we could ever be friends and he said no. Then months later of not talking he comes out of no where and tells me he has a girlfriend,i say "thats good :D"(obviously i'm going to be happy for him) then he signs off of aim.That was the last time we talked.(about 2 years ago? maybe)
Which brings me to now.I actually think he hates me. See,starting this year-I see him everywhere(in school). He looks away every time i look at him-so do i. I went to a dance the other day(we met at a dance)And he was there. Everything came back to me,so i decided to dance near him with my friends.And as strange as it is..it felt good to be even near him. and my friend who knows about the situation was telling me he was staring at me.I was really happy,then really sad.I've been thinking about him a lot lately. I get these feelings-and it feels like he's thinking about me too. But he hates me. So i don't know what to do,i REALLY want to smile at him or say hi to him in the halls. But i know he won't do it back.
Leading to the grand fanalie, Should I try to talk to him again? Has anyone ever felt this way before? What did you do? Is there such thing as a connection between people that have to be together? Lastly, Why do you think he hates me,even after 2 years? Anything,anything to help this feeling go away,please. Thankyou
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Fuck yes you should talk to him.
The short description you gave sounds like a guy worth knowing, and your own description of yourself tells me that this is a guy you feel something real for, even if that feeling is still in its infant stages.
I recommend an honest approach. Don't beat around the bush and send him conflicting signals, or leave him wondering whats going on in his head.
You should find a way to contact him and ask to meet up. You want to do this in person so he can see your face, and so you can look him in the eye.
Tell him what you told us here. Tell him that you can understand if you hurt him too much to ever give it another shot, and you wouldn't blame him if he walks away and you will respect it if he asks you to never contact him again. But if he wants another shot you will hand him one on a silver platter, its his choice.
It will hurt if he says no. Thats something you'll have to accept. But it would hurt if you did nothing, walked away, and never took that chance.
And from what you've described, a Yes is a definite possibility. Its worth the pain to take this chance, and you will regret it if you do not. Accept the risk, and call him.
Final Note
I almost forgot to mention. Its possible that he IS hurt, and isn't over what happened. Its possible that he isn't over it _yet_. If you go the honest approach and don't get the response you want, do the following.
- Give him your number
- Tell him that anytime he'd like to call you he can
- Ask him if you can hug him before you leave.
Those three things will send a powerful message that will usually penetrate even the most stubborn hurt feelings and resentment. Its possible that you could get a hurt reaction, have him be angry, and call you a few days later.
I wish I could make you promises about results. I can't. But the good is well worth the bad, so take a chance with this.
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Yes you should try to talk to him. I felt that way with a girl before we got real close and then broke up and we were mean to each other at first and now were good friends. At first it's natural to hate each other but with time it passes. After we broke up I will admit I was mean to her too. I was so mad it felt like I had wasted a lot of time with her. Yes when you really like or even love someone you will feel this connection and it's like you've known them forever. You feel like you've been looking for him forever and he makes you happy. He doesn't hate you he just likes you a lot and he maybe mad at you that you broke it off with him when it sounds like to me that he loved you a lot. He's prolly mad and wants to know how and why you brke off such a good relationship.
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Should you try to talk to him again? YES. absolutely. It's clear that you both have unfinished business to take care of, and a great amount of feelings for eachother. Don't worry, plenty of people have this same feeling and have been in situations like this. You are NOT alone so don't ever feel like you are. I bet you're a great girl and it sounds like you two are meant for eachother. So try this, get the two of you alone somewhere maybe at lunch or after school and TALK. very important because the key to a successful relationship (even just friendships) is communitcation. Tell him what you told me. Tell him you feel good when you're near him and that you've been thinking a lot about him lately. If you two do have that special connection he will give in and tell you his feelings too. And he doesn't hate you. Trust me. He's just still uncomfortable and hurt about the breakup. The feelings he had for you didn't just go away. And neither did your feelings. Let him know exactly how you feel and ask him what he truly wants. Let him know you care and that you didn't mean to break his heart. Comfort him because it looks like he needs a lot of it. When he instant messaged you just to tell you he had a girlfriend clearly meant he wanted you to be jealous becuase he wants you. (as stupid as that sounds haha)I know i told you a lot but i really hope I helped. I want you and him to have that awsome amazing relationship all over again :)
P.S Good luck!
Love,
Rachel
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you obviously had really strong feelings for this guy, and still do. and the reason why you probably feel this way is because you ended it off for no good reason leading there to be unfinished business. and he probably doesn't want to talk to you because you hurt him. he must have had strong feelings for you and then you just dumped him. guys are really bad with dealing with this kind of stuff. if i were you i would try to make contact with him, anyway you can. maybe to avoid the akwardness write him a letter or send him a message. in it you should explain exactly what was going on in your head and why you made that move. hopefully he'll understand. and also make sure you tell him how much he still means to you. and you would do anything to be just friends. because you miss him so much. hopefully he'll believe and undertsand and be ok with you. and then you;ll have to work on strengthing you guys relationship. and maybe one day if you want him as your boyfriend again it can happen.
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