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so confused? why did he say that to me?
okay so ive been talking to this guy i met at a friends house, weve been talking since december and ever since january hes been asking me to do sexual things with him next time i see him, which was SUPPOSED to be this coming up saturday, but i really cant figure him out anymore. first of all, this is gonna sound really messed up but he thinks were going to have sex. ive said its a bad idea but he doesnt listen. i was never going to though, i just never said no because i knew if i did then he wouldnt go to their house and i wouldnt be able to see him..i want to see him because i sort of like him. but anyways, he IMed me this morning, making it seem like he wanted to have like text sex or something because he said something perverted like that, and i was like okay and then he said, yeah so you want me in it stretching it? [i know thats awkward to say, but he thinks hes cool, idont really know.] and i said, mhm your alone right and he said, nevermind i dont wanna and i said, huh? haha and he said, i dont care really and i said, dont care about what..what are you talking about? and he said, stfu. and then i go, what? what are you talking about i really dont get it and then he just never answered and signed off.
he has been leaning me on for 3 months saying how badly wants meand how he wants to do it with me, but then..all the sudden he says nevermind i dont wanna. what the hell?! what did i do? i mean i dont want to, but i want to see him, and i think he means he doesnt want to even go to their house anymore. i mean all he said was everything i just told you, so its hard to figure out what he meant, maybe he meant, i dont wanna, as in i dont wanna have text sex right now. i really dont know..what do you think? why do you think he suddenly said that? someone please tell me and help me understand because im truly lost.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
When you say NO to a guy, do not say "I don't think so." and do not say "I think it's a bad idea."
Just say NO.
That is why girls get a bad reputation for being teases, and that is why guys think NO doesn’t always mean NO. They get that idea because too many girls don't say no when they really mean NO, NO, NO.
Don't be polite. Don't say '... I don't think so...'
Guys who badger you for sex are NOT being polite. You don’t have to be friendly back. You should NOT be worried about offending him or losing his friendship or attention.
Say: "NO! Never going to happen. I said NO. Stop talking about it to me. It's offensive. Shut up!”
Seriously.
Please.
I know you ‘sort of like him’, but he is also ‘sort of’ a total dick, and you shouldn’t put up with that. If you have self-respect and mean NO, Say NO. If he can’t respect that, and be your friend anyways and maybe even still enjoy your company, then he is a total dick who only wants in someone’s pants, and just thought he might get into yours.
You'll be doing a favour to every woman in this world who thinks she has to be 'nice' when she constantly badgered for sex.
You'll be doing a favour to every man on the planet who doesn't realize that NO truly means no, because too many weak-willed women tried to politely tell him ‘sorry... I don’t think so...” when what the really meant was “Never in a million years! Stay away from me you creep!”
You'll be doing yourself a favour, because you'll be setting a high-standard for the way people are allowed to treat you and preventing yourself for experiencing this kind of angst again!
Don’t stress out about the texting thing. For all you know his mother walked into the room... There are a million things that could have happened. You won’t know unless he tells you, and might not even tell you the truth.
Really though: Stop leading him on. That IS what you are doing. It’s not mature, it’s not fair to him, and it puts you in a position where you might end up doing something you really don’t want too. Tell him where your boundaries are in stick to them. If you do that, and you never see him again, consider it a blessing.
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Here's an answer I gave to the question 'are all guys perverts in high school?'. I think it applies here:
"Here's the uninteresting, quasi-scientific answer:
Men are biologically programmed to think more about sex than women. That's why they all do (whether they admit it or not). It's a procreation instinct meant to keep the human race going.
In high school, most guys aren't mature enough to keep that to themselves. They have no self-control, and usually aren't raised with a lot of morals, values and respect. Thus, rather than just thinking about it constantly, they TALK about it constantly.
If my son did that, I'd crack his skull.
As guys get older, some of them gain that maturity (through being dumped or ignored by more intelligent women).
And that is why all guys are perverts, but some of them have the decency to keep quiet about it."
In other words, that guy is a loser. He doesn't respect you or anyone else.
Drop him ASAP and look for a guy with a brain.
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You are right when you said he is perverted. It sounds like you just might be booty call. He his is rude and disrespectful of how you feel. Don't let him take advantage of you, Tell him to stop talking to you like that and you don't like it. Stand up to him, The more you let him do it the more you are leading him on. I know you might like him a little but why hang around someone who is going to treat you like that. Let him know how you feel and be stern about it.
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