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14 year old in trouble!
Hello, i was wondering if i could have opinions :]
..do you think its wierd for 14 year olds to have sex? cause thats all people talk about on here & i just wanted to know what people think about the subject.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think having sex at age 14 is a very bad choice (trust me, I know).
At 14 you're simply not ready to handle all that sexual relations entails. There's always a risk for STDs (virgins can even have them) and dealing with STIs are just as complicated. A unplanned pregnancy can lead to malnutrition of the young mother and hard decisions (abortion? adoption?).
Abortion can hurt the woman severely--mentally AND physically. Adoption can leave her with feelings of unwritten paths--the what-ifs may end up consuming her later in life.
Having sex puts a person in a very vulnerable position. Feelings develop that weren't there before for some, and bonds can become stronger. With each strengthening though, there is more risk of a complete cut-off though. A hard break-up that takes years to get over. A fight that consumes the relationship. Guilty feelings overcome some. Feelings of paranoia consume others.
Trust me, I know.
I was 14 when I lost my virginity to a guy that I thought cared about me.
I wasn't ready to be pregnant. (thankfully, I never became pregnant)
I wasn't ready to care for an infant though.
I wasn't ready to drop everything in my entire world to make sure I could give another life as much as they deserved.
I wasn't ready for the emotional drama that started after I had sex.
I wasn't ready to be cheated on and left after I had planned to spend years with the guy I had lost my virginity to.
Sex can break relationships so easily. It brings a whole new plate to the table. Relationships break up easily because "sexual incompatibilities"--which is just another term for, "We were too young to figure out how to compromise, sexually."
At 14 your emotional development is not finished. Having sex halts so many things that could have been. Instead of seeing a partner in a non-sexual sense, you are practically consumed with the idea of sexual relations with them. You can't just go to a theatre and enjoy a movie then. You can't just sit in your room and talk and giggle. You can't just BE with each other. You have to be on each other, in each other, etc. It really strains the emotional development of such a young person and may make them more vulnerable to harmful relationships in the future.
Sex at 14 isn't what people think it might be. At 14, I thought I could handle it all. At 14, I thought I knew what there was to know. At 14, I thought things were safe in the sexual department and that I had things figure out to where I would always be happy.
I'm 22 and I know a lot of things I didn't know back then though. I've been hurt. I've been cheated on. I've been used for sex. I look back now and am completely ashamed of myself for giving in to my hormones and for believing that sex was forming a strong, unbreakable bond between my partner at the time and myself. If I could go back and change it, I would. I would say, "No, it's not time..." that night and wait it out. I would be a lot happier than I am now.
At 14, I couldn't list most of the STDs out there--or even percentages of people with this-that-or-the-other. I didn't know that virgins could have STDs. I didn't know that the 99.9% effectiveness of birth control wasn't really true--because that is for "perfect usage" and we're not perfect. I didn't know that condoms don't protect against STDs AT ALL. I sure enough didn't know that sex could mess with my emotional development as much as it did.
Sex can really hurt a 14 year old because nobody--and I really mean NOBODY--is prepared at 14 to be engaging in sexual relations.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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i think it is terrible for 14 yr olds to have sex. I think 17 is, like, the best earliest age to lose ur virginity. It is always better to wait and find a special person with whom you're in a special relationship with, and to be ready. And 14 isnt ready. 14 could be horny, but not ready
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I think so because I believe in sex after marriage and there are lots of teen pregnancies. Hope IV helped.
Mr-Fix-It
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