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another country...
my first boyfriend of almost 6 months recently left for a job in another country for a year..he said he wants to stay together and be together when he comes back and we talk online and stuff a lot but i'm having a really hard time dealing with this.. hes only been gone a month.. and i can't eat without getting sick, i'm crying all the time and generally depressed a lot.. i don't know what to do.. if anyone has any advice please write me back.. thanks :)
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Ok to be honest- your boyfriend is not being very fair to you. I dated this guy for 7 months, and then he enlisted in the army. We ended up breaking up because he didnt want me to feel like I couldnt live a life without him; because I could; AND i AM. Kyle (my ex), said that I needed someone there for me in person, to hug me, to come see me, to talk to on the phone, to comfort me, and do things that he wouldnt be able to do while he was in Iraq. True, your boyfriend is only gone for a year, but I dont see why he is having you on a tight string so early in a relationship. If you had been dating about 3 or 4 years, it would be a different situation...
But obviously since you are depressed and not eating well, this has taken a bad toll on you. I think that him keeping you restrained to him only and then for him to leave you, that is just going to cause pain in the future. That is a YEAR you will not spend with him. That is crucial; especially since its not even been ONE year since you started dating. You will have been apart longer than you were dating. Im not trying to dampen your spirits, but I was once in your shoes. I know now that if I had dwelled on the relationship with my ex, I would still be in a dark place in my life. Maybe you truly love him, and thats great. Hopefully he truly loves you in that case. But the thing is, when it comes down to it, you have to decided is he worth losing your sanity, happiness, and yourself over- because trust me it WILL happen. I have been there before.
HopE I helped some.
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Madison
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Keep yourself busy. Exercise like a mad fiend. Every time you start getting lonely, go for a walk. Not only does it have great effects on your body, it also helps you to feel better.
Find a new hobby... or three. Painting, or knitting, or collecting something. Or skydiving! ;)
Can you send packages to him? Try writing a letter a day, then sending them off in bulk. Or take short videos and send him an SD card with them on it. Or just send small gifts. Collecting them over a week or two is a nice diversion.
Make sure you keep in contact with other people. Hang out with friends whenever you can. Talk online... anything to keep you from getting lonely.
Or you could even get a pet (if you don't have one already). It doesn't have to be anything fancy; even a fish or a gerbil will do! Just something to talk to.
Make sure you're eating healthily. I had a friend whose husband went away, and she lived on cereal and ice cream for several months until I intervened. Eat a well-balanced diet and curb junk food. That stuff just makes you feel worse. Plus, cooking is a great way to occupy spare time!
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Long distance relationships are so difficult to cope with especially in the beginning. I know from personal experience how hard it can be, and the only thing you can do, is try & keep your mind off of him as much as possible. As hard as it is, hang out with your friends more or hang out with your family. Maybe both of yall can buy webcams? That would help with it a little bit. My ex boyfriend and I, while we were apart would also along with texting/IMing, would write letters to one another. Because, we'd both have something to always look forward to in the mail, we'd send pictures and stuff like that back and forth.
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