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How do i get my boyfiend to open up more?
Okay, So I have a boyfriend & I've only just started dating him(a week). The other night i brought up a conversation about flirting and he told me that he flirts BUT he doesn't cheat, and that its harmless flirting. His sister told me he's never cheated either & wouldnt cheat(he tells her everyting). but i still feel uncomfortable about the flirting bit, even though his sister told me theres nothing to worry about.
My friend spoke to him and he said thats just how he is. he told me he has a lot of reallyyy close friends but they're like little sisters to him and nothing more. We have a thing in our relationship where we dont deny if something is wrong, but we dont have to talk about it.
I've met pretty much all his friends & he doesnt act weird with me when being around them & when he's at school, he acts normal(kissing me, holding me, being with me, etc) & everyone knows im his girlfriend so he's not trying to hide the fact that im his girlfriend or anything.
He's not good at showing much emotion, and i was warned about that before we dated. But I want him to open up. How do I get him to open up more? Or should I just not bother and let him be if he doesnt wanna talk about it?(he & his ex girlfriend of 4 years fought ALL the time because of the not showing emotion thing) so i dont want to be like her.
I just get confused about how he feels sometimes when he avoids telling me whats wrong.
someone helpp?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you have a problem with him flirting with other people, then tell him about it. Tell him that you don't like him showing other girls that kind of attention and that it bothers you.
And some people just don't show very much emotion. Mention it to him and if he doesn't change and you really like him, they accept him for who he is.
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Give it time, if he a starts feeling comfortable around you he may open up. You have a better chance of getting more out of him, if you give more of yourself. Trust works both ways.
But remember, you were warned. That puts some responsiblity on you. If you care about him, stick by him. It may be worth it.
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Well some people are just naturally shy. But you know some times just ask him how his day went, how he feels on a daily basis (try not to be pushy) things like that can help a relationship. But don't ask like you’re worried but like you really have an interest in him and his life. Just try to make him feel comfortable and for him to see that you will be there for him. Well hope I have helped.
Mr-Fix-It
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My first thought is you knew what you were signing up for when you decided to become his girlfriend. It sounds like you did the background work to understand who and how he is.
You knew about the flirting. You knew about the 'closing up' emotionally.
This is who he is.
You saw what trying to pressure him into giving/saying more did to his past relationship and you know what the outcome is: fighting and eventual break-up.
So really, the decision is in your hands.
Can you date this guy, with his perceived 'flaws', and have a healthy, happy, fun relationship? Or is the flirting and emotional distance a deal breaker for you? Will you always have a tiny voice that says not to trust him, and another voice that hurts and yearns to be closer?
Because you can not change who HE IS.
If these things make you crazy/unhappy ... then get out of the relationship now...it will only hurt worse later. Take this as a 'lesson learned' and know what to NOT look for in your next relationship.
If you see his flirting as charming, and you are secure with with that and trust him. If you see his emotional distance as the 'strong silent type' and it doesn't bother you ... then hang in there and see how it goes.
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