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what is with this so called break
me and my bf just went on a break. he said he just needed some time away from the whole relationship love thing. i didnt really understand but i said ok. not like i could really make him change his mind. at 1st he said he still wanted to talk. just not hang out. so i was like ok then. then wen i told him how upset i was about the break he sed he couldnt deal with all the compliments and i love yous and i care u dont? so i guess maybe i was being too clingy? i dont know becuase he said all that stuff to me too and he seemed fine with it all until one day out of the blue he said he needed a break. but now we are not even talking at all because we were texting and he said well ill talk to you later. so i said ok? and he said yep bye. so i dont know but he seems mad and doesnt want to talk to me now. i am really upset becuase i love him alot and dont know where all this came from. could there be another girl? or is he afraid of commitment? should i talk to him or give him space? should i make him jealous? what should I do? i have so many unanswered questions and i just want to do the right thing because i really want him back because i love him so much and he told me he loved me too
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I am not trying to be mean, but this guy is clearly not ready for a relationship, or at a minimum not WANTING a relationship with you. He is clearly trying to put distance between you.
The 'love' he professed was 'love' in that moment to the best of his ability to 'love', but clearly not the same 'love' you are feeling for him.
He tried the 'break' and 'just talking, not dating' route vs a harder break-up...probably because he was scared to say "I want to break up". Now he is pushing back on the talking. He is acting angry because he wants you to just 'go away' and quit 'pushing' him for more. Your pushing/needing/hurting makes him uncomfortable and that is what he was trying to avoid by saying "break" instead of 'break-up'.
He knows he is hurting you, and that makes him feel guilty - but guilt will NOT make him feel more for you than he does. He is not hurting you on purpose - but you want something different from the relationship than he does. What he is trying to do is disconnect.
I know you are hurting. Break-ups suck. What you should NOT do is play games (make him jealous/feel guilty/give him space thinking he will come around.
Concentrate on moving on. There is no right thing you can do to make him feel differently than he does. You can only control your own behavior and emotional state.
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I'm sorry to be so brutally honest with you but, he's not coming back. The only reason guys want a "break" is so they can see other girls but still have you to come back to later just in case they want to.
He may have had those feelings for you but then the commitment may have scared him off.
I suggest you don't call or text him, but if you know you may run into him one day or even just pass him on the street, make sure you look AWESOME. Hair, make up, dressed fine and keep your head held high and make him believe you do not miss him. And he will notice you. If he tries to talk to you, you talk to him like he's just some guy you know, no one special. This will get to him! Then walk away and DO NOT look back.
After that if he tries to call or text, do not answer or respond for at least 3 days. Then, when you do answer (no texting), only talk for a couple minutes and then tell him you have plans and have to go. Guys want what they can't have.
If you decide to take him back, you will have the upper hand, so don't take any crap. If he starts acting at all like he may want out, YOU break up with him. If out of the blue, with no warning, he wants another "break," then you tell him, "I was thinking the same thing. See ya."
If you are hurt or need to cry, do that with your friends. DO NOT let him see it.
Hang in there.
Hope this helps.
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The exact same case as mine was.Be careful,this could mean you'll lose him for good.He might love you,even though it sounds like he's not really into the relationship as you are.Give him some space for now.I say:don't do anything reckless like try to make him jealous or make a scene.Don't show him you're upset,play it cool.And don't talk to him too often-once a week should do.Or don't talk to him at all for now.
This guy definitely has commitment issues,just as my ex did.By the way,keep an eye on him-he might be trying to create the distance between you slowly so you don't suspect anything,because there is a possibility he likes another girl.Don't take this too seriously-this is just a thing you should be aware of.Stay away from him for a while-if he loves you,he'll ask you to be with him again.
p.s. If this kind of thing happens again after a certain amount of time,then he's playing with you.In that case,ditch him.
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