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To confused to properly think
16/male.
[sorry this wont make sense if i don't do from start to finish]
okay.. so it all started dropped for me since December 4th... or October 2nd to be precise..
Me and my girlfriend were together for a while, then her mom decided to get married, well the person she married [at an offaly fast timing] lived in Texas... Well, we were happy with each other, i knew i was in love, the ACTUAL Love. nothing fake... She told me she was as well.. She moved on October 2nd and it tore us both apart inside. We stayed in touch for a long time, but i noticed a change in the way she would talk to me over the AIM and Emails and such, we could not talk on the phone because her mother didn't want her to talk to anyone unless it was free; unfortunately it was around the time both our Verizon phones got cut off.. and so she went to Alltel and i am still phoneless to this day.. But after she moved i tried my hardest to keep everything up.. i never thought about breaking up with her. i loved her so much, i didn't care how far she was from me.. But on December 4th.. i asked her if it bothered her when i told her "i love you" and she told me "Yes, only because it hurts and we cant see each other" well, Later.. she broke up with me because the distance between us was killing her.. she couldn't take it, she was to upset about it, the following week though she came to visit for her cousins Band Concert.. she didn't know about it... that was the last time i saw her too..
Well, Since school has started back up, iv tried moving on.. but no matter how hard i try, whom ever i try to get into a relationship with, i also stop myself to the thought of how much im in love with her still. i cant get over her, i cant talk to her still.. my email wont receive hers for some reason..
Oh well.. i talk to her now and then i guess, we are still friends yes..
But recently i tried to move on, and i met someone [E].. she was dating someone with the same name as me, but she told me she liked me a lot.. and "loved" her bf even though they just got together. well, it went on for a while. i walked to her house with the intentions to hang out, it worked were she wanted me to bite her neck.. Well, of course being a teenage boy i did it.. but then she told her mom and everyone half the story, she bit mine as well... But she only told them that "He bit my neck, and it scared me" so everyone thought i was the bad person. i told everyone who asked me about it the entire story.. she still said she liked me.. later on she broke up with her boyfriend, and then a few days later BLAMED it on me... i took the blame for everything, because i liked her.. even though i still had my ex on my mind more then her.
I tried talking to friends about it, but i didn't get the answers i wanted.. my mind has become mentally unstable, because i left the person i liked just a week ago.. [we weren't together i just got tired of the lies, the using and of course, the hurting]
She hurt me, i don't know why i liked her, now she struts around school with her "new" boyfriend and i feel like she's trying to make me jealous.. its not working, just annoying me making me think she's a whore or something. because when she blamed me for her previous break up she would go around saying "I shouldn't have left him i am in love with him" .... yeah... right..
But anyways, my friend [SG] got a new girlfriend, she reminds me of My ex girlfriend soooo much its incredibly awkward. at first i was scared to meet her 'cause me [sg] and her were suppose to hang out' so we did. but at first i thought nothing of it, [SG] is my ex cousin so you know. but i confronted him about it, and told him and he agreed in a way.. said she did in some ways. but he still dates her, and i told him never to break up with her. but i cant really control that... so, i hope he doesn't do it.. but anyways, i met her friend.. thought she was cute and funny.. :) So i started talking to her.. but over the week iv been gaining feelings for my best friends gf not meaning too! and for the past 4 days iv had non stop dreams about her each night.. i dont know what they mean.. but i told her how i felt about her the other night.. and she didn't have a response honestly. i don't want her though.. like, in a way i want her, because how she reminds me of my ex.. and then again, i want to be with her friend.. but i want to get to know her more.. but as well as, i want to be with my ex again.. i dont think im ready to love someone else; love never goes away from what im told... they were right... but
Please, help me.. i don't know WHAT to do! my feelings are split into so many different ways, it's making me daze out of school completely, and as well as making my anxiety attacks more frequent. and even give me suicidal thoughts whenever the anxiety strikes...
I just want to be happy again...
My ex told me not to long ago i still keep her calm.. because we were talking and she said something about her step sister drives her insane, and she told me over the phone that im the only one to keep her calm...
and she told me again... and it made me think she may still have feelings for me?
Someone.. if you can, if you bothered to read this.. please, please please please, help me.
iv gotten to the point where i dont want to be
alive.. but i just want to be happy again...
she was the only one to make me truly happy..
I have feelings for my best friends gf..
i am still in love with my Ex..
I like my best friends gf's best friend..
what should i do.. my dreams are not helping me at all!
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well it seems like u are definately confused and what you need to do is eliminate as much stress from your life as possible. get away from the other girls you like, for now at least. if the relationship is meant to be, it is meant to be. 1st you must start getting over this relationship. well you are 16 and in 2 years you will be able to move anywhere you want. Keep talking to your ex and stay friends with her. Even if you cannot have a relationshp right now, you can still get closer while far away. She is going through the same thing you are, but it is easier for her to just let go. You must do the same for now and in a few years who knows what will happen. If its really love then her feelings for you will not go away either. No one knows what could happen in the future but for now you must accet the fact that you cannot have a relationshop with her. Dont get in a new relationship until you are truly ready. you may think that you will never be ready but i promise time heals. just give it a while and everything will work itself out. for now do what makes you happiest and stay busy. you may not want to but that is all you can do for now. talk to someone about it and express how you feel. you can write it in a journal or talk to your dog. haha anything helps. just dont keep your feelings bottled inside. i wish u the best of luck
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Hi, ok - wow! The first thing you should do is sit down and take a few deep breaths! I agree with you, I think you are too confused and upset to think properly but the fact that you recognise the state your heads in at the moment means you can start putting it right. Your girlfriend moving away and the lack of contact must have been, and still be extremely difficult. Too difficult for your girlfriend to cope with it would seem. I think to be honest she made the right desiccation to finish the relationship, as the way things where you both where being torn apart and not coping at all well. Moving on is so hard, I know. We've all been there but honestly time is a healer and things will get better. There should however be no reason you can't maintain a friendship, but maybe a little space for a short time would be advisable. As for the other two girls, well for the moment - and just for the moment - stop thinking about other girls. Give yourself time to digest what's happened with your girlfriend and start to come to terms with that. Time to start and heel. Surround your self be your friends. You need to go into a new relationship because you want to be in that relationship not because you need to get over an ex. Another relationship won't help you with that one. As for the girl who's told all the lies / caused all the trouble - keep well away from her! Try to worry about things less and take them as they come. Give yourself time and don't go into a new relationship just yet. Make sure you have the support of your friends and soon you'll feel things getting better! Honest!
Take care, MM
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