Question Posted Saturday February 14 2009, 11:17 am
Okay, I've had a best friend for three years. When we met, we were both the same. Awkward, losers with no social skills trying to find our way around. That was three years ago.
Since then, I have "come into my own", per se. I really like making new friends and stuff like that. However, my best friend hasn't changed a bit, and is starting to bother me. I've mentioned it to her before, casual suggestions, stuff like that, but nothing works.
It's really becoming a problem, because at this point, she doesn't have very many friends, so she sticks by my side. I love her, because she's always there for me, but she's anti-social and has NO idea how to act in social situations involving more than one person. Everyone I know feels uncomfortable when she's around.
I don't know what to do. I've felt this way for like...a year now. Obviously, I don't want to leave her, because it would be shallow to ditch her for "cooler" people. Besides, she is a true friend to me. What if I can't find anymore?
But, I feel like she's holding me back. She needs to get some friends her own. And let me repeat that I have told her this (in a nicer way, of course), but she just doesn't get it.
I'm tired of this, frankly.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? njosh answered Sunday May 16 2010, 10:43 am: my friend, you must be feeling abit confused of your situation and you think you should do something yet you dont know what. you do feel good, as u have said when she is close to you but on the other hand you feel that she is too dependent on you. you are asking for some freedom from her overdependency on you, and you seem to think that what can bring about that freedom is her trying to engage with other people and make friends. surely any relationship need some 'breathing spaces' as you have indicated, you are aware of yourself having grown in interpersonal skills fro the last three years and you think that your friend has not grown much.yet you do not want to abandon her because you still value her. you also feel embarased tht she does not know adequate interpersonal skills. i suggest that you bring her out to your other friends. allow her to interact with them. let her invite her own friends with you too...for outings etc. bit by bit..you too will improve together your communication and interpersonal skills. [ njosh's advice column | Ask njosh A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.