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Equality and fairness
Im a 20 yr old female and I have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now. We have been living together for the past year. We have a pretty good relationship and for the most part, im happy. The main problem is I constantly get irritated because things arent "fair" or "equal". For example, my girlfriend will ask me to get her a drink and then shell ask me to get her a snack and then she'll ask me to get her a blanket and then she'll ask me to take the dogs out. And I'll do it all. But then I ask her to get me a drink and she will flat out say no and wont do it. And then I start getting irritated and angry because I feel like why should I do it for you when you wouldnt do it for me. She says I shouldnt expect things in return for the favors I do. I get so torn over it because part of me feels like shes right and its not right for me to get mad I should just do it because I love her and I shouldnt expect her to do it for me in return. But then a minute later i think that its crap and its not fair at all and if she loves me then she should do it for me. I would just like some opinions and advice because I feel like if I could get over my issue with this then our relationship would be so much better. Thanks alot.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Any relationship should be 50/50 when it comes to doing things for one another. If it isn't you have resentment because it really isn't fair. No one person in a relationship is any more important than another when it comes to wanting a little TLC!
I suggest you flat out refuse now and then yourself. Explaining to her that she has a couple of legs and they will atrophy if she doesn't use them now and then.
You also need to sit her down and have a little chat about it. Not when its happening and you are upset about it. Before it has a chance to happen.
Explain that you are no longer going to be the waitress in the relationship.
If she can't do things for you now and then as well, the future doesn't look very bright. The longer it continues, the more you will come to resent it. Put a stop to it now before it becomes even more of a habit on her part. :)
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There is always a solution to a problem. In this case it seems, not to offend, that there may be a lack of communication in your relationship. Now that we have identified the problem, the solution: A simple discussion as per what has been bothering you. Don't sugar coat it, just tell her how it is and how it is making you feel. After this discussion your GF should reply with "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize this was how you felt, I'll try to be more aware of this issue in the future." Once you have made it this far, to encourage her and to test her listening capabilities, casually ask her to grab you, say, a glass of water. If she responds to your disliking then another talk may be needed to improve her listening capabilities. Please use this only as a guidline and feel free to change or modify anything in here to suit your liking.
I hope this helps, o^-^o
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