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Long Distance Online Love?
First I really need people to just listen and not to judge or warn me of anything because I already know it all. All I really want is some opinions on this. PLEASE. i dont need negative feedback or the crap about predators and danger.
Well back in October I met this guy online through a certain website and we talked a lot. After a month of talking online and on the phone we found that we really liked each other and he asked me out. This guy lives all the way in Washington State while I live in Massachusetts. I know that I truly love this guy and he loves me but i just really need some positive feedback since i cant always get it from my friends. I havent told my family about him and i dont really intend on doing it until things get fully serious. Me and him talk every night and we text nonstop, We are coming to our 3 months of being together. All though we can physically be there at the moment we find the presences of each other through the phone and we just have something different from other people. i just dont know what else to really say i mean i dont know if people are willing to say anything but i would like to have someone else to talk to about this. Thanks for taking time in reading this.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Break it off.
Probably the last thing you want to hear, but from the sound of it you aren't in any kind of position to actually be with this guy. My advice is that distance doesn't work unless you can see each other at least once a month. Once a month is hard enough, but you don't know this guy, and you won't know this guy, if you're literally across the country from him.
Date locally. If not locally, at least in the same state.
Its nice to have a friend who cares, and a guy you can connect with. But you can't have a true relationship with someone thousands of miles away that you have to plan and save all year to go see.
Theres also something to be said about the fact that things will be more intense than is real if you only see each other once a year. You save up all your emotions for one visit, thats not how a real relationship is, and it will give you a false sense of what is both going on with you. You'll feel so in love, because you don't have enough time around each other to realize that its just the passion of the moment. Theres not enough time for that passion to go and real connection to begin.
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You know, I'd love to be able to give you totally positive feedback. Really would! But your relationship being what it is, well, that's just
not entirely possible to do. So be patient and
hear me out.
Lets cover it all. First your age. You don't give
us your age but since someone older probably would, I have to assume you are a teen. You say you know the dangers and that's great. BUT, knowing the dangers you still haven't told family members what your up to. Thats not so great and the very thing that make those dangers you know about dangerous! SO, if you want to do what relationship you have right, tell your family about it.
I know as a teen you like to keep somethings private, but this is one of those things that your parents need to know your doing. If everything is legit with this guy, he isn't
going to care who you tell. That helps YOU.
You aren't keeping big secrets from your family,
and if he has a problem with it, it will (or should) throw a red flag up that things may not be as you thought they were. No excuse for hiding
is good enough.
Its possible your parents wouldn't approve. That
is why YOU will have to volunteer to let them see
or hear enough conversations that they are comfortable letting you talk without supervision.
Will it be a royal pain in the ass for a while?
Yes it will. But it would be worth it to you
in the long run. If everything seems fine, they
will back off. Trust me, they have little patience
for listening to teens in love talking. Remember,
YOU suggest it first.
Next, you are literally oceans apart. The chances of you having a real live meeting anytime soon are almost zero. Maybe parents could help there some time in the future. But, it makes it hard to
have a relationship, and in all honesty, not a very healthy lifestyle for your age.
Teens by nature just need social interaction with others their own age. Thats why they should be dating more people and being a little less attached to just one person even at close range.
Thats how you know for sure you have found the right person and that you get along. Face reality,
its easy to get along with someone when you don't really see how they actually do things.
That beings said, even if you think its true love,
and I know you don't want to hear this, but you
both probably need to see others close to home.
Not saying you don't continue your friendship and
even hold out hope for the future. But, you both
need to grow as individuals too. You can't do that
while your peers are at school dances and on dates
and you are warming a chair chatting on the internet. I don't say that to be mean or negative.
But neither of you want to wake up one day and find youth has passed you by.
I guess what I am saying is, there is always a chance you will meet and find you were right.
Even though odds are against it, it could happen.
Don't give up, but don't let it keep you from living life in your own neighborhood either.
Its important to do if you ever want to know for sure this one is the right one for you.
I hope you didn't find that to negative. Always
use the internet responsibly. You sound like you try to, but you can do better! Never ever attempt
to meet with someone, no matter how long you have known them, without your parents knowing where you are or accompanying you. I know you know that,
but we responsible adults will have to remind you.
Good luck and go talk to your parents about this.
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