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What Happens whena friendship falls apart because of love?
I’ve been really close friends with this man for several years. We run in the same circle (of friends) and have the same passion for the arts. During the past few years, I’ve expressed my feelings to him which is more than just a friendship (I love him). His answer is always…I love you, with no further detail. I’ve asked on several occasions, Love me how? As a friend, like a sister? How? He clams up~ No answers.
A few months ago, we were talking on the phone and he blurted out, “I love you, I really really do.” Then hangs up the phone. What am I suppose to do with that? Again, what does it mean. I blow up…..I ask him, what does it mean, no answer. I proceed to ask him to stop screwing with my head. If he is going to be my friend, then be my friend.
And if he could express what his love means, then stop saying it.
Nonetheless, he continues to express that he truly does love me and we are friends. We don't speak for months. He deleted me off his friend's list. I recently attended an event and found out he was there, but left when he saw me. (We run in the circle of friends, so it is inevitable that we will see each other again).
I don't get it...why am I being treated this way....What did I do wrong? What could his reason be for avoiding me?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
The number one reason, You scared him,
You asked If he love you and he did, guys aren't as complex as girls if they say I love you they mean i LOVE you, like i want to be with you. And he probably didn't understand why you blew up at him.
My suggestion, apologize, even if you don't know what you did wrong, apologize and say that you didn't want to lose him as a friend, In fact you were in love with him and you wanted to be something more.
When a guy gets nervous and doesn't say anything you usually can get anyhting you want outta him if you touch him. Grab his hand, his sholder and assure him that its okay to speak his feelings, that you don't want to hurt him.
But First thing is first, you have to rekindle that old flame, and that is going to take time, but if you can pull it off, the relationship will be stronger.
Don't get mad at a guy for not talking, guys aren't meant to talk girls are. Stay calm, no matter how frustrated you get, even if he yells always stay calm, its easier to rationalize when your not trying to defend yourself verbally. Just take a couple breaths and go over your answers smoothly. You will probably have to start from the ground up, but cut the guy some slack, he probably sees you as the most beautiful thing in the world, and id afraid that he's going to break it, or afraid that you'll hurt him agian.
Whatever happens good luck, may fortune and love smile upon you!
any more question feel free to email me at jellybeansandtinkerbell@yahoo.com
~<3 Jelly Belly
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You did nothing wrong, except put up with this flake for as long as you have.
You will never, EVER learn a better reason for his behavior then this: He is an idiot and a coward.
He probably isn't going to explain himself to you. Even if he did, his explanation would likely not be the truth, certainly not the whole truth.
We could sit here and speculate all day long:
Maybe he is in love with someone else too.
Maybe he is actually gay.
Maybe he doesn't know what love means at all.
Maybe he has some crazy fetish he doesn't want to tell you about.
Maybe he is in the witness protection program. Maybe he belongs to some crazy religious cult who will murder the woman he chooses to be with....
The possibilities are endless and there simply is no way to know for sure. You'll be happiest when you can make peace with not knowing.
In the meantime, if I were you, I’d be grateful for his cowardice: Take it as a gift of distance and time that will help you to let go of this connection and to even get a bit angry with him. That anger will help you move on to another connection, one with actually potential.
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