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am I wrong for still loving my abuser
Two and a half years ago I met a guy who became my best friend, or so i thought. We ended up liking eachother and went out for 2 years. He was always sad before we went out and i always felt bad and tried everything to help him. He would lie to me about everything and make up situations he was in. After 6 months he payed no attention to me and i cheated on him ever since he has been making me feel horrible. He would emotionaly abuse me then he started to hit me a lot. I was in an abusive relationship but he only started to be mean to me when his dad wentto jails and he went through a lot. I was there for him through everything but he was never there for me. Everyone told me he loves me so much but he would try making me jealous i was in a very unhealthy relationship. he watched his brother hit me annd did nothing the neighbors called the cops i havnt talked to him since i have a restraining order on him then he got one on me. His family didnt care that they hit me,they are trying to press charges on me they made up a story that i hit his mom when i ever did. After all that i have dreams about him every night I miss him so much and wish we could work everything out even though we never worked anything out. I wish he would change and get away from his horrible family I wish we could be together without the abuse and his family. We have been going to court a lot against eachother im only 18 and he was my first and only love i miss him and dont knopw what to do im still pressing charges because they need to learn they cant get away with everything but i want him to change
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stockholm syndrome its where you care for your abuser/or person that holding you hostage.
no its not wrong for you to love him its sad you want to be with him but like the person below me said he isnt a man when he hits you he must be small and scrawny and hitting a woman makes the girl feel manly
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You're 18? Aren't you a little old to know this game? You want an answer? Yes, you're wrong for still loving him. Any "man" who puts his hands on a woman (or abuses her in any other way) is no man at all, and he's a child. He knows NOTHING about love, care, or people. If he had a lot on his plate emotionally, he should've stayed out of a relationship until he knew he would be okay & that he could deal. I don't care if he has AIDS, cancer, a brain tumor, or even a gimpy leg - there is NO reason for a man to touch a woman in any negative way.
To be honest even more so, the chances of him changing are slim. Until he gets the help he needs, and sees what he's done, and can accept that he isn't perfect & can see his faults, he'll stay the same. He needs counselling, tons of jail time & A LOT of time to grow up. And I don't see that happening from the things you've said. Don't hold your breath, sweetie. Time to move on. You deserve better & don't let any loser put his hands on you or tell you any different.
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It's okay to still love him.
It's wrong, desperately wrong and self-destructive to think he is going to change. If he does, great! For him. As far as you and him are considered, you need to let that go, completely and forever.
This is still a very complex situation. For the time being, keep on NOT talking to these people. They are nuts, your ex included, and that will probably never go away.
You are better off without them. Cry it out. Feel whatever you want to feel, but do NOT go back to him.
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