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I know what to do, just not HOW to do it
18/female
So this is a VERY long scenerio. I met an amazing kid when I was 17 years old and he was 21 years old. The beginning of this relationship was great, don't get me wrong. He had been thru a lot of things in the past. He moved all over and came back here mainly because he has a younger sibling and his mothers grave is here. That's when I met him. He was amazing, made me feel so great. I loved life and everything in it. Whenever I saw him it was like I wish I could stop time so it could last forever. It didn't take much for things to change. He was unemployed so I was giving him money once every now and then and he wasn't forcing me so I didn't really feel like I had to, I only wanted to. Afterall, I was living at home and had parents who even paid for the gas in my car and he had to take care of everything by himself. I was a lot luckier then he had ever been and he always pointed that out. Soon after, I started to let him use my car when I was at work and he wasn't going anywhere except hanging out with his friends and staying home, which didn't bother me. But then it was like using my car constantly every single day. And I kinda liked the idea of seeing him after work every night. And whenever I gave him money he was a lot happier and nicer towards me which made me happy. When things were going wrong I'd blame myself. But then we broke up. And he still was using my car and I was still giving him money because even though we weren't an official couple we were still fooling around, friends w/ benefits. After awhile that even stopped, and it was just constantly like can I use your car, I need some money, this and that. We broke up because he didn't have much to offer me even though he really liked me. Then I felt like he didn't even like me anymore and he started telling people he didn't have any feelings for me, so then why am I still around? He would tell me he really likes me and we would be official if he had something to offer me. It's like he was giving me mixed signals, and I didn't even know what to do. Besides all of this stuff, valuable things in my house went missing. For example, camera, ipod, etc. I wanted to see if I had maybe left it as his place and when I asked him if a camera was there he handed me one and said, "is this yours." Took me about a minute to realize it was my sisters. I mean after all I've done for this kid. Give him my car, money, love, time, and everything he has done me wrong in so many ways. But I still care for him and love him from the bottom of my heart. I know he's been through a lot but I don't deserve to be treated this way. I just don't know how to tell him to either change his act or to leave me alone, because I'm afraid he won't ever talk to me. Or things even worst than that. This kid was my first everything besides first kiss, and thankfully I didn't loose my virginity to him, but other than that my first everything.
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Okay this sounds EXACTLY like what I went through with my first boyfriend....
From what you've typed above it sounds like he is simply taking advantage of you.
1. You are giving him money and he loves it because now he doesn't have to work to make his own money because he knows where to get it. A big NO NO! You are NOT his sugar mama.
2. You are letting him use YOUR car. NO NO again now if he gets in a car accident YOU are responsible the car is in your name. Another excuse for him not to get his own car.
There is no telling this guy to change his ways, I honestly think you deserve SO much better. This guy sounds lazy, inconciderate and basically a plain jerk with a capital J. It's time to say goodbye and move on. There are many fish out there in the sea who I'm sure would love to be with you. Don't let a guy treat you like this, You don't deserve it.
BahaiMa22
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Don't tell him to change his act.
If he, at over 21 years old, cannot figure out on his own that his behavior is REPREHENSIBLE and WRONG, then it doesn't matter what you say to him. He cannot be saved or fixed, certainly not by you, a woman he doesn't respect in the slightest. A woman he plays with, fools around on, steals from and bullies.
You have no power over him. Not a shred. He will simply ignore any demand you make of him. He has manipulated your every move and he knows he can keep on doing it.
Just dump him. Flat out. No more benefits of any kind. You deserve better, so go demand better, of someone else, because this guy is not capable of being decent, let alone better.
The best thing that could happen at this point is that he stops talking to you. It will hurt, you will cry it out, but in the end, you will be a happier and wealthier person. Lean on your friends and family through this tough time, and get rid of this user.
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