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wondering?
ok so my bf and I have been togethr since xmas eve. well he doesn't really treat me like a gf. like it seems like were just friends. we've only held hands like once.and he hugs me hello and goodbye. we haven't had our 1st kiss yet. (but im not rushing that). I tried talking to him about treating me like a girlfriend.and it didn't really do anything.he's always talking to other girls and it makes me jealous. so yes I also have a jealousy problem.and im pretty sure the last 2 days he went to lunch with this girl. that's his friend. but it makes me mad cause he nos it makes me mad! and he started actng really immature like goofy aftr we started going out.my mom said its probably cause he doesn't know how 2 act. well my question is what can I do to make him treat me more like a real girlfriend. and how can I get over my jealousy problem? thankyou in advance
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Your mother is probably right that he doesn't know how to act. It seems like he is comfortable in his friendships with girls, so with you he is sticking to his comfort zone. You might have to be the one to show him the ropes through your actions. If you want to hold hands, you be the one to grab his-etc. It sounds like you have a mother who is cool-so invite him to your house or somewhere that there isn't a ton of other people. He might be a little shy about public affection. As far as the jealousy thing...Jealousy is good in one way because it is nice for hm to know that you like him so much you get jealous of other girls, but on the other hand, if you start fights with him about it, or forbid him to have other girls for friends he isn't going to want to be with you. Every time you see him with another girl think about how jealous they must be of you. They obviously think he's cool, and he picked you over all of them. Imagine the conversation they are having. He might be asking them for advice about you. You certainly don't want him saying to them, "My girlfriend is so jealous that I'm hanging out with you," because that will just give the other girl a pat on the back. If you really like this guy, don't make it a big deal when he is talking to other girls because that is the quickest way to get rid of him, and he's really not doing anything wrong. He really liked you, which is why he wanted to be your boyfriend, so now don't go and change everything. Be the same person you have always been. Have fun with him, and don't tell him all of the things he's doing wrong all of the time. Think of how you would feel if you just started dating a guy and he started telling you who you could and could not talk to, and then he started telling you that you weren't a very good girlfriend because you don't know how to act like a girlfriend. your head would be spinning. You would be like, "what happened to that fun guy I liked. Where did he go?" You don't want him to think, "wow, I wish I never asked her out because she changed."
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Being friends is the most important part of any
good relationship. So that's not really a bad
thing for him to treat you like just a friend.
As your mom said he may not exactly know how to
act. You don't mention your ages, but its not
uncommon.
Being jealous can make you miserable! It
is normal to feel jealous. Just don't act
like you are. If he ate lunch with this girl
who is his friend BEFORE you started going
out with him, its nothing more now than it
was then. Remember that. He wasn't dating
her then, and that hasn't changed.
He will learn how to "date" by what you do.
Sit with him at lunch, hang around him when
you get a chance. :)
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Hun, Jealousy is apart of any relationship.. we all get jealous. Even as a family member to our brothers or sisters, we tend to form the jealousy feeling.
Its about the depths in which our jealousy goes and how far we actually take it, for it to be classified as an issue!
I think by what you're telling me, you have every reason to be that tad jealous, he's not spending quality time with you, not taking you to lunch, not making it seem official with you. That alone is enough to feel uncertain about.
Stop doubting yourself, if he has agreed to be your partner then he needs to start acting like one himself.
There is nothing wrong with you and what more you CAN do to make him treat you better. Talking to him was a great start but he's basically just not respecting your feelings.
If it was me, i would say to him: "hey, look, you want me, you have me, however, i'm not going to be stepped upond. i informed you already that i wasn't comfortable with you flirting around with other girls, i am your girlfriend and the least you could do is respect my feelings. If you want to have lunch with one of your girl mates then have the decency to ask if i'm ok with that or whether i would like to join you.
Not only are you making me feel like there's no security in the relationship, you're also disrespecting yourself by making it out like you're a man whore! Get a grip, start acting mature!"
If there's nothing more that you can do to make you feel more at ease then go and find yourself a guy that will appreciate your honesty. Because you deserve it!
Remember, people are who they are, if he's not willing to make a change, there's nothing that you can do to change him, nor anyone else.
Hope everything works out for you.
take care!
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Start typing like a normal person and maybe he'll like you more.
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