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i hate myself. please read this and please help me
ever since me and two girls who i used to be close with got in a fight, ive been feeling very down about myself, very ugly and unwanted and almost like ive lost so much of myself. these two girls are part of a group of friends I once was part of, but once we werent friends anymore, I am no longer friends with that same group of friends. I have recently been sticking with another group of friends, even though I only like 3 or 4 people in it..I do have a few other friends in my school, but not a lot. I had a lot more last year, but now I never see those people anymore because I have new classes. The begining of the year I had at least 1 person to talk to in every class. now ever since I lost those two friends, I dont have any friends in two of my classes. and I feel like the biggest loser and social outkast. I absolutely cannot stand it. and no, i cant do anything about it. No matter how many times people tell me I can just make new friends in those classes, I really cant. and I know it doesnt seem like a huge deal, being 2 classes and all, but to me, it is a big deal. one of the classes being gym. I hate my gym class. And on top of that, i SUCK at sports. except swimming, which of course we dont do. and like ugh i just hate it. i litterally have nobody to talk to in there. im waiting for 3rd marking period, because 3 of my friends are switching into my period, but not in my class. but i guess thats better than nothing..and on top of all of this, over the weekend i had guy problems with this kid i met like a month ago, and we hung out at my friends house because he wantedme to come but hes an immature freshman and barely talked to me he flirted a little but then acted like he didnt like me and kept doing that. it was just hard. and then i went back to school and had a bad day..feeling like a loser..i know im not a loser. i know im not. but sometimes..i think i am..i have a decent amount of friends i guess..but i just cant deal with this anymore, im so overhwlmed. i also havent been doing my homework in weeks. i have Fs in two of my classes and probobly a D in another. i have 3 essays i never did and a lot of homework i have to makeup, by TOMORROW. i, am in so much stress. its tearing me apart. with school, and feeling like a friendless loser, with this guy who doesnt like me anymore but told me he did and wanted to do stuff with me on saturday but it never happened, with my grades going down the drain. i just want to sit and cry. ive been running away from everything. ive missed 3 days of that gym class, pretending to be sick, just do i could avoid going and feeling lonely and embaressed. i hate this. i almost want to say i hate my life right now. i dont even know what im doing for the summer. i have no clue. all of my friends are already doing things. my mom says i cant sign up for driving school until i get my grades up. i. want. to. go. cry.
i also hate the fact. that i have ZERO self confidence. i have so many insecurities with myself, i dont know what to do anymore. i walk through the halls feeling like a complete ugly loser. but i know im not ugly..and i know im not weird..because im not. but the people around me make me feel so intimidated. i told my friend about that guy thing over the weekend and she said she was going to the mall to meet up with her boyfriend and his friend and she invited me to come to meet that guy thats gonna be there and i just didnt know what to say. i said id come but honestly, im the worst at meeting people and knowing what to say. especially with guys i feel like..i hate this. i honestly can say i hate myself. i dont like ANYTHING about myself. some people think im funny, i dont think i am most of the time. im not that pretty. i mean im not ugly, but people around me make me feel that way. i think im nice but i dont know. i just hate this. i hate this so much. i hate myself. i used to be normal when i had so many friends the begining of the year. now i only have a few friends and a broken heart from this immature freshman and terrible grades and i honestly just want out. i dont want this anymore. but im too upset and broken down to do my homework. or fix anything. i cant pretend anymore. ive finally cracked. i just wish i could like myself and feel confident. i hate myself and everything about me ive never really liked my self, i remember that. at my sleepaway camp last summer our bunk went around in a circle and we had to say one thing we liked about ourself and one thing we didnt like about ourself. when it got to me i said i hated the fact that i got upset by a lot of things, but i said i didnt like anything about me. everyone else said there had to be something i liked and i said nope. nothin. and then this past summer we did the same thing, when it got to my turn, i said the same things. because its true. how can i just stop this. i think i need professional help
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
It is like a snowball getting bigger and biger as it rolls downhill. You have so many things on your mind right now, you can't focus on any one of them, and even if something good does happen, you have the rouble of your grades to worry about.
First thing you need to concentrate on is doing the homework you have now, I know there is a bunch of stuff to make up, but it won't do you any good if you have to make up new stuff because your so busy making up old stuff. Worse case scenario is that you start next semester fresh. Also, a late paper with half the effort is better than nothing. Once you start making progress, you will be amazed at how much you feel better. Tonight, do your assigned stuff, and finish one make-up. You might want to also talk to your teachers and lret them know you do not want to fail-what can you do.
I know you feel as though the homework is the least of your problems, but when you get behind it can tend to focus all of your energy. Sometimes, in order to avoid things we don't want to think about, we make up other things to occupy our mind.
A lot of your problems are a normal part of growing. You have hormones doing all kinds of mixing and jumping around. Whenever you start feeling like you are not normal, or ugly, or any negative, try to remember that your hormones are controlling a lot of your feelings, and there is nothing you can do but ride it out. As far as professional help, it always helps to have someone to talk to, but don't expect any miracles. Most women(even the cocky popular girls who can put on a good show) don't really come to appreciate themselves until they are a little older and wiser(say 30). The rest of the time they are faking it.
I can tell you one thing that is good about you. You are deeply committed to your friends. The upside is that you are a good person, but the downside is you get hurt when there are problems. You had a good groove going with your old friendships, and now your whole life seems different and lonely. Maybe it is time to try to make up with these girls if they are not total b#$%$%.
I hope things work out good for you, and I'm sorry that there are no magic answers to your problems, but if you list all of your problems, then go over the list and cross out the ones you can't do anything about it may help you to start taking care of the things you have control over.
Don't give up! Believe it, or not, one day you are going to look back on these years and remember them as the best of your life. When you get a little older things will be so different. Think of it like a learning experience that will only make you a stronger woman.
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tl;dr
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hi sweety!
you are a really intelligent girl and incredibly sweet and nice too!and you are good looking.always focus on your good points.and look at the brighter side.its human that none of us have time to tell each other that we are wonderful people...you are wonderful,I can tell from your words.you sound like someone who is a really good girl,and that is really great!you still have a super life in front of you.resolve to make it one fabulous time.live and practice every day giving thanks for your many other blessings!make it a habit.bad relationships happen to every one.remember,something one thousand times better is waiting for you in the future!laugh a lot more too...study hard,because that is a path to a brighter future!
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