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You answered my question about my loser brother...
Hi Razhie!
Thank you so much for your advice! I've actually considered some of your suggestions, but sometimes feel it's more work than it's worth.
As far as turning off the cable, that's something I've been looking into. Actually called the cable company to see if I could turn the cable off in his room. But they couldn't do it.
I did quit buying the foods he likes. Most of the time he eats the leftovers I have from dinner. But since my boyfriend eats dinner with me and my kids (and even he pitches in on the groceries I buy), I always make extra so there's plenty left over. Maybe I should stop doing that!
You're right...I have a great deal living in that house. I feel I have no choice but to stay! My rent is so low and if I move out...a)I'll be struggling paying rent and bills on my own b) My parent's would be SOOOOO pissed off! So, I'm kinda stuck!
I hate being an enabler though. Because me and my kids have to live...my brother gets to reap the benefits of it.
Thanks again for the great advice!
Shannon
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Hey Shannon, you are most welcome. I got to say though, I would strongly recommend you just cut the cable entirely. I know it's not a great thing for your family, but sometimes you got to hit them where it hurts (and pretend it doesn't hurt you too!)
Absolutely, I think stop making lots of left overs AND/OR taking them with you for lunch or sending them with your boyfriend would be a very good idea. Again, I know that might be a bit inconvenient for you, but you gotta hit them where it hurts. And yea, that DOES take work.
Don't beat yourself up too much for being an 'enabler' you aren't. Your parents are and there is nothing at all you can do about that. Not a damn thing. So take a deep breath and put your kids first by cutting out any unnecessary spending AND by demanding he pay his part of the utilities. (You might not get all of the money from him, but I bet if you sink your heels in, cancel the cable and say 'I Don't have the cash to cover you! I just DON'T', either he or your parents will pony up.)
If you want any opinions on any other ideas you might have of how you can make him less comfortable and be less supportive, I'd be happy to have them run by me!
Good luck!
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