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Attractive Boss
So my boss and I have an oddly close relationship. He's 30 and I just turned 18.
so it's legal, and that isn't the issue.
We always tell each other about our boyfriends/girlfriends, and everything. We even tell each other the details of our sex life. He's in an extremely bad relationship and I'm single. He told me he was going to quit soon.
And I was just wondering how to take this to the next level? I mean without being extremely obvious, in case I am completely misreading the signs.
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You're 18, he's 30- end of story. It doesn't matter how you feel about him. He is in a completely different stage of his life and for him to be going after an 18 year old is just wrong. The fact that you're legal is irrelevant. The fact is that you are too young for him. Sorry to say, but your head is in the clouds. For a 30 year old to discuss his sex life with you...do you not see something perverse in that? There should be no next level. If he is interested in you, he is only looking for one thing. He's in a bad relationship, he sees a young girl...and...he should just leave it at that. Do not take this any further.
When I was 21, I met a 32 year old. He had just ended a relationship. I told him it was nice meeting him, but that I did not want to get involved or get in the middle of things. And that was that. I even told my brother about him. He (and this is a guy's perspective, which can be VERY useful) said something along the lines of..if a guy 30 or above is interested in a girl much younger than himself, he's just looking for a young piece of ass. Even if you're mature for your age, there is only so much you have experienced in your life. There is no reason for you to date anyone that much older than you. He cannot take you too seriously- you are only 18. He is only going to look at you as a young girl he can have fun with- and that is only if he is even interested in you on a romantic and physical level. Leave it at a just friends/coworker relationship. Trust me, you will regret it if you try and take things further.
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I really don't want to burst your bubble hear, but as long as you are working for him, I would not reccommend taking it to the next level. Work realationships can be an absolute disaster if they fail, and in some cases, even if they work. I can see a work relationship being ok with just a fellow co-worker, but even that is a risky thing. But with a BOSS, absolutley not. Think about one day at work, if you are in a retail business, say a customer gets angry at you. Your boss, or in this situation, your boyfriend as well could take the anger personally toward you simply because he cares for you. So he snaps at the customer and he gets reported to corporate offices, and has to go through alot of crap just to work the next day, and even if he does, he'll still be on bad terms with HIS boss because of his slip up. Not a good thing at all. In your case of being hurt, he may order you to do a task and lets say you don't do it. A good boss should be assertive with his employees, so lets say he scoulds you for not doing your job. It would hurt alot worse to take a slap on the wrist from someone you love rather than just someone you work for. In the WORST case, lets say you did go out and then broke up. Things could (and most likely would) be awkward at work. Say you two made it far along enough in a relationship you had sex. Nasty rumors could come about and really make your work day a living hell. The worst part is people will most likely believe what they are told because they knew you two were dating. Even legally, your boss could decide to knock off three hours from your schedule every week.. or even more than that, and be perfectly in the right-of-way for doing it, no questions asked about it. I'm not saying do not do it, if you want to that is your choice and that is understandable. But for real, look ahead into the future and think about the problems that could arise from this. If you aren't planning in staying in that job for too long, I would say go for it if that's what you really think you want. If you plan on working there for a few more years or so however, I say it's not a good idea.. if you really want to take it to the next level, you just have to treat it like a normal relationship. If you are being "too obvious" that probably means you shouldn't be doing it in the first place, that's just what our instancts are telling us. Love knows no boundries, and if you feel that you truely can't tell someone how you feel about them, i'd have a gut feeling they aren't meant to be! Whichever path you decide to choose, I really am wishing the best of luck for good things to turn out from it. Hope you have a good holiday and I hope this helps you out! :)
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