|
IM NOT FAT!
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost four years, and I've never felt unpretty around him until this year. Recently he thinks I'm fat, the thing is I'm not at all - I am 5'8 and 140 lbs.
I recovered from an eating disorder just before I met him, and he knows this. I have learned to be happy with my body, but now with my boyfriend's constant negativity I'm starting to feel insecure.
He never says things so bluntly where I can get mad. What he'll do is say, "let's work out" and if i say I don't want to he calls me lazy and nag until I will. Or when we go out, he'll order me a diet coke and side saladn as my entire meal. When I say that's not what I wanted he says "I'm just helping you eat healthy". Or my favorite, when i asked if I looked heavier he said "you only look like you gained 5, maybe 6 lbs." I never wanted to nag him but these little comments were making me insecure.
I tried talking to him about it last night, but it only ends up in an even bigger fight because he can't manage to just tell me he thinks I'm fine the way I am. I understand he's just being honest... but everytime I eat he says "why did you eat that?" or "did you really need that?" Now I'm on a diet and he constantly reminds me to work out and not to eat too much.
He's not an asshole, he's just stupid and doesn't know how to sensor himself! every other girl he looks at is skin and bones, and I'm wondering that if I'm not his type... why has he been with me for so long??? I love him or else obviously I wouldn't be with him, but how can I go about talking to him about this without it turning into a huge fight? How can I help him get the message???
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
well,your definately NOT fat. but u ever think he might just be looking ont for you? i mean skinny girls can be unhealthy too.
So my advicego up to him casually and ask him Do you think im fat?'or and if he says yes then you dont disurve to be with a guy who doesnt like you for the person you are.Cause people come in many different shapes and sizes.
If he says no, then ask him why he keeps pressuring you to eat stuff you dont waht to or work out more than you want to.communication is key.
and you be the judge, whats the difference between coke and diet coke?it tastes the same:)
]
I understand how it's kind of hard to just let go since you've been together for so long but honestly you don't need someone who is going to be bringing you down. tell him that. tell him that if he doesn't stop saying hurtful things, you could always find someone who won't. (because, you know, you could. there are guys who will love you for who you are and WON'T always be bringing you down. because you're right, you're not fat.)TELL him this, that you deserve more than that. it's not an argument, it's a declaration. and you're probably right about him being insecure, too. because when someone doesn't love themselves, they can't really love someone else. (sorry so blunt)and, really, if he doesn't understand, and he keeps hurting you...maybe you need a break. there are guys who will tell you how beautiful you are if you look, and who won't encourage you back into the welcoming arms of an eating disorder (again, sorry so blunt). you deserve more. bottom line. and if he doesn't understand...i advise you go find more, even if it's not so easy. just my advice.
]
More Questions: |