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What can I do to get my mom to give me some space?
Hi Im female and Im 17. The problem is that my mom is choking me and my space. She always wants to know everything...I have a job as tutor and make some money. She always asks me when I get payed and she always gets in my business calling people to scream at them to pay me (which is rude) and i know they´ll pay me later I have no problem with that. She is always going through my backpack too she cant see a paper in my room cause she´ll look at it. She is always asking me questions at the wrong times like when Im doing my algebra homework shell come and start talking and asking me questions which doesnt allow me to think at all. And when somebody calls me she always needs to know who it was and what it was for and if i dont tell her she gets mad saying that im horrible. If I asked her all of those questions she would get really pissed off (I know cause i tried it once) Its driving me nuts she is also so needy she´s always calling me to do a lot of stuff for her like repair the t.v. or other utensils or do my brother´s project because, according to her, "Im the brain of the family" its annoying and it makes me feel bad...like if im supposed to be a full grown up and an expert in everything which im not and when i cant do it...she insults me...really bad...please help me...what can i do?
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tell her how u feel and tell her to lay off
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Don't feel bad that she calls you "the brain."
It's a compliment.
Take it.
Feel good about it.
You obviously deserve it or she wouldn't say it.
I'm sure that you've already realized that she's getting into every part of your life because she cares enough to do it. Believe me when I say that as you get older, you'll look back on that and be grateful. This world we live in can be a very scary place! There are people at every corner who will gladly take advantage of you in some way or another.
Many kids don't have parents who care what they're doing.
I know that doesn't help you, but maybe this will:
Talk to her.
Don't be angry when you do. Don't be defensive.
Tell her that you understand she's just looking out for you, but you need some space. Assure her that if you need her help, or find yourself in a bad spot, you will go right to her about it.
As for fixing the T.V., she needs your help because she doesn't know how. Next time she asks you to fix something, try to get her to observe so she can try to do it herself the next time.
Remind her that one day you'll be off in the world, attending college or whatever you'll be doing, so she won't have you there to fix these things.
When she interrupts your homework, it may be because she just wants to talk to you. When she does that, maybe ask her, "Hey, since you're in here, maybe you can help figure out this algebra problem..." Even if you don't really need the help, it would make her feel good that you asked, which will in turn make you feel good.
Or, you can say, "Sorry, Mom, but I really need to get this homework done. I'll be glad to talk when I get finished." Then make the time to sit down and talk to her.
(That also may help with her smothering behavior. Let her into your life and she doesn't have to quiz you, etc.)
ygs-30/f
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