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bullying..sort of?
Well my teacher always jokes aorund and I know that teachers always tend to poke a little with students for jokes and mean no harm but I am very sensitive and it hurts really bad.
Well my teacher decided to just joke around by telling the class "Wow you should really stop smoking! Everyone, whenever you see her, tell her to stop smoking; it's really bad!". I was just a little offended by the little poke but he's my favourite teacher and I know that he didn't mean any harm so I just smiled and just let it off.
Well, we got our yearbooks today and THREE classmates from that class signed their name and wrote STOP SMOKING, which hurt me deeply because first of all, what is my dad going to say when he reads this? And second of all, I'm secretly a perfectionist and smoking is DEFINITELY against my morals so it didnt' matter at first but now that people actually ENGRAVED it onto paper and it will be there permanently, I just don't know what to do.
Thsi is going to..haunt me! How can I get over this, suck it up, and let it go? I'm in highschool but I feel like i have a heart of a baby! What do I do? What CAN I do?
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I suppose I could do what the other posters did , and tell you what you want to hear. However I am going to give it to you straight instead. My advice though is contingent on the fact that you do smoke. If you don't smoke , you teacher is out of line and slandering your name. If that is the case you need to address it immediately. I don't really know what you could say to show your point , but something about him that isn't true. ie; "Hey Mr. Teacher, I read in the paper that you were a registered sex offender. That's weird that you are allowed to teach school" hahaha that probably isn't the way to go, but if you were to ask him to stop saying that and used that for an example of how would he feel, maybe it'd be ok. I am getting off track here.
OK then , I assume you ARE a smoker, AND you are underage, right? Well if that is the case then it's actually against the law for you to smoke, it's bad for you, and it's your teacher's and parents obligation to do what they can to help you keep on the right path.
Instead of being offended or thinking he's teasing you, you should take it for what it is. A caring gesture to help you stay healthy.
As a minor who smokes, it is also your responsibility to keep it secret, and not get caught. The fact that your teacher is aware that you smoke is your fault, and you kind of brought this hazing on yourself.
It's obvious that your teacher cares about your well being, and it's his job to try and dissuade you from smoking.
Any adult who didn't comment on it, is maybe a little unethical.
If you smoke and were confident enough to let adults find out that you are a smoker; says to me that you aren't very ashamed of your habit. Maybe instead of being embarrassed you should be confident of your choices, and tell your teacher that you understand he's looking out for you , but bringing your personal shortcomings up in class is really embarrassing to you , and ask him nicely to please stop. However he is under no obligation to stop, in fact he is actually duty bound to hound you about it. I actually think he is in his rights to call your parents out of concern.
I am sorry if that isn't what you wanted to hear , but I think sometimes the truth isn't what we want to hear.
Good Luck quitting smoking.
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Definitely take the advice of the Advicenator below. If you want, you could always put stickers over the smoking part in the yearbook. Or cross it out and tell people to write you a new message, if you so desire. I do not think what your teacher said was very funny and actually, that sounds kind of like harassment too. He should have taken the hint when you did not laugh along to his words. High school is a time to grow up. If it bothers you that much, take this as a learning experience and try to solve it. However, know that sometimes you may just have to suck it up. I do not think they meant to offend you in any way. People have different senses of humor and they should be more careful of what they say because it may hurt some people.
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Sometimes trying to be funny doesn't work, as evidenced by your teacher's comments. Stand up for yourself. Tell the teacher in front of the whole class that you are NOT a smoker and don't appreciate being called one. There's nothing wrong with that and it would clear the matter with everyone at once. Not to mention it would give you a great feeling of empowerment. It's not disrespectful to defend yourself to a teacher. It's the right thing to do. It doesn't matter what kind of authoritative position a person has. You always have a right to defend yourself. Especially when what they say slanders you and hurts your feelings. If you don't feel comfortable saying this in front of the class, ask to speak to the teacher after class and tell your teacher how the comment made you feel. Most likely, the teacher didn't mean to belittle you and would appreciate your honesty and probably would apologise to you in front of the class. If this doesn't work I suggest you speak to your counselor and your dad. I'm sure they will help you.
Good luck!
L.C.
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