|
mom banned me from bfs house!!
im 14/f.okay so last sunday i gave my bf a bj. and we were texting last night and my parents were pissing me off and i told him and he was calling them names because he knows how mean they are to me. well mom took my phone away and read all the texts and the one about me giving him a bj and shes soo pissed. so on our way home we stop at his house and he had already told his mom what was going on and she said i was no longer allowed at his house because his mom lets us go up to his room alone, and thats wen i gave him the bj.
we were leaving and i could tell he had been crying, and ive never seen him cry in the 3 years ive known him. well he reached out to hug me and mom said no and told me to go he was like please but she woudlnt let me give him a hug.
then she kept my phone so now i cant talk to him or see him till monday!! and its thanksgiving and idk wat to do.
ive been crying all day and mom yells at me if i cry because she says im not hurt in any way. i tried telling her it was my life but she says its not my life till im 18 and i cant make the decision to do stuff like that now.
i dont know what to do about all of this...i need to talk to him it cant wait till monday. but ma wont let me and shes pissing me offf.
i dont know what to say to her, or what to tell my bf on monday...
she said he can still come over here, but if hes here we have to sit in the living room and he can like only put his arm around me no kissing or nething.
what can i say to her?
or to him on monday?? idk if hes mad at me or what, he'll probably blame himself even though its not all his fault...
what do i do??
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
im 17 years old i know it probably sounds like im lecturing you i might even sound like your mom right know i have to say that i agree with her your really young to be giving guys bj's you might think its nothing now but you will regret it later your mom is only acting like that b/c shes trying to protect her daughter its b/c she cares she doesnt want you to end up with something or pregnant at 14 .boys will be boys they will say anthing or put on an act to get what they want but always listen to your mom even though you disagree with her.doesnt matter how long you've knowned him trust noone besides your family your lucky that your mom is even going to let you see him at all after what you did try to understand your moms point of view if you had a daughter and you fount out she was doing that at that age how would you react.good luck be good.
]
i think you should give your mom a break ( yea i know that sounds mean and im so sorry). i know you dont wanna hear this but she cares and unless she just absolutely hates you--which i strongly doubt--she is absolutely hurt. youre 14 and doing this stuff--and i dont blame you! youre a teenager (like me) and you wanna try some things and experiment--but that doesnt change that your mom is probaly trying to protect you from getting hurt. maybe shes scared that maybe he would break-up with you since youre giving him what he wants--and by no means am i saying he will! i think you should take her up on the offer and let him come over to your house and gradually youll earn her trust back and then maybe, MAYBE shell let you go on dates with him, etc. be patient and maybe have a nice civilized conversation with your mom and talk about how she feels about it and then tell her what you want to, etc.
i really hope i helped and if you need any more help, leave me a message at mworthy823@yahoo.com.
good luck! =]
]
For now, say and do nothing.
Suck it up, like the mature young lady you ought to be. Cry in private and deal with it. You did make mistakes; the biggest one was giving into childish impulses and pissing off your parents. If you are going to break their rules, for goodness sake you need to be more cautious about it and don't leave evidence like text messages if you live in an environment where your phone can get snatched like that!
Let him blame himself. It's both of your faults. Both of you choose to do something you knew would royally piss off your parents. You took a risk and you got caught. These are the consequences of that risk. Don't lie to yourselves and pretend you didn't know it.
You CAN wait till Monday, and you better, because if you get caught again you are only going to get yourself in more trouble, and I don't think you are thinking clearly enough about this yet to manage to be sneaky enough anyways.
Calmly and maturely accept the situation. Tell your boyfriend what the rules and boundaries are in your house now, and enforce on him how you are both going to obey them! Because your mother is right with this much: As long as you live in her house you will have to follow her rules, and for the next little while she isn't going to give you the chance to break them at all. If you try to take that risk again, you are going to get into deeper trouble. You are fourteen. Your mothers can separate you, but neither you nor them want to start that war. The only way to avoid that is to abide by their rules.
Now, I’m not saying your mom is the prefect parent. She might be an unholy monster. But she is still the parent and these are still the rules. The rule of 'no sex in my house' and even 'no kissing in my house', is not an unfair one. I'm 23 and my mom still has a 'no sex in my house' rule. That's her right.
The sooner you show her you can accept those rules and deal with them respectfully, the sooner she will either relax there... or give you enough space that you can start taking the risk of doing things that really piss her off again.
It’s not just about who is right. It’s about what works and what will get your closest to what you want. So, behave yourself.
]
More Questions: |