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I'm scared!
Okay well my family and I were shopping in down town toronto. My mother and brother split up to do shopping together and then it was just me, my dad, and sister.
Well there was this old homeless guy we keep passing and my sister and I felt huilty since we had grocery bags hanging from our arms and we keep passing him. My Dad told us not to give him money cuz "he already gets enough from the governemnt for being old" but when he wasn't looking, my sister threw three dollars into his hat.
We went into this building to wait as he went to the bathroom and then this guy that looked homeless walked inside started swearing at us like crazy and he kept saying fuck you fuck you to us for giving the guy money. Some people aorund us were really scared and we just stood there taking it in because we weren't sure if he'll take a knife out of no where and stab us or something.
After he was done ranting, he went into an elevator and left and then my Dad came back form the washroom a minute later and my sister and I just pretended like nothing happened.
But I just feel really scared right now and I don't know what to do. I probably watch a lot of scary movies because I keep thinking he's going to find us. If he really is homeless, we wouldn't have gave him money too! My sister said that she saw him once when were crossing the street but he wasn't asking for spare change or anything!
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I can pretty much promise you that he doesn't have the presence of mind to find you. He probably wouldn’t even remember your face if you walked right up to him today. I’ve lived down here for years and walk by everyday, along with thousands of others, and the regulars in my area don’t seem to recognize me at all. Really, they have bigger concerns then young girl’s faces. I’ve been harassed over a slice of pizza, been called every vile name in the book, grabbed at and sneered at by some people on the streets here, and yes it is scary, but it’s not personal. No one has every shown signs of recognizing me or following me. It’s just not personal.
You unfortunately discovered the reason why I don't give money out on the street. The sad truth of the homeless situation in most large cities, and definitely in Toronto, is that most of the visible homeless are mentally ill. The Canadian system is surprisingly effective and helpful at keeping addicts and the other more ‘physically’ ill people off the streets, and absolutely atrocious at providing support for the mentally ill. Studies have found that almost 70% of TOs homeless population has a lifetime diagnosis of a mental illness. This is actually a good thing to keep in mind in any major city: It is more likely then not that a visibly homeless person is mentally ill.
I don’t mean to add to the stigmatization of either the homeless or the mentally ill. But I think as a young woman consider a way to move safely through the city it’s something you should keep in mind. I do understand the guilt, but the price you can pay trying to alleviate that bad feeling can be very high. You are far better off to write a cheque, or volunteer then you are to give cash handouts. It’s better for the system, and it’s safer for you.
Take this as a learning experience and let it go. This guy probably yelled at a half a dozen people that day alone. Although it made a real impression on you, you probably made no impression on him at all.
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you probably do watch to many scary movies. i'm pretty sure this homeless man isn't going to come after you. there are a lot of people who are mentally unstable and homeless. its really very sad actually. but you will be fine. he was probably angry or confused. don't let this incident stop you from giving to the homeless. and you could also give food. i can't imagine this incident would happen to you more than once. honesty. the man was probably mentally unstable. and he didn't hurt you when he had the chance. so why would he hurt you in the future. about what your dad said. people think that people who are on welfare or are homeless are lazy or are milking the system. THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE. its ridiculous. a lot of people work really hard their whole lives simply to live in poverty. they may have two or three jobs and still not be able to support their family. also, contrary to popular belief, you cannot stay on welfare forever. there is a limited number of years you can stay on welfare. and its not that long. it's also really hard to get on disability for most people. you have to keep in mind that not everyone has the opportunities that you will have. even if you don't have a lot of opportunity. chances are there is someone worse off. you cannot judge people because they are homeless. people get laid off for countless reasons. they encounter things some can't even imagine. they might not have the money to go to college and get a good job if they have to support their family. and if you have kids. its even harder to stay above the poverty line. just don't let this experience harden your heart. and don't worry about that guy. he was a crazy guy. you should be fine.
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