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humorist-workshop

what is wrong with her?


Question Posted Sunday November 23 2008, 3:08 pm

i have this friend. She is so competitive. and she claims to be my best friend. So when i get something new, she has to get it, but in a better brand or more expensive to make me feel bad. example would be like; i just got a phone. a week later, she finally got a phone, but more expensive. then when i got a computer, she got one after, but in a better brand. I don't know why she does it but it is getting on my last nerve. Then when I come up with ideas, she steals them and make them into her own. for example. Our whole group of friends hasn't hung out in a while, and i was saying how it would be tight to have everyone get together at a sleep over and just chil. She went off and told all of them as if it were her idea. And it is so frustrating. She also tried to steal my boyfriend. I ended up having to brake up with him because of whole lotta drama. I have slowly separated myself from her. She asked me if we were still best friends, and I said no. And she was begging for best friend status. But I said no. And I have stopped telling her everything, and calling her. I just listen, because I will always be there for her, i have never betrayed her. I helped her lose weight, and told her when people were talking ish about her. But with all that, she repaid me with all that. I want to separate myself from her to the fullest. Do you guys have eny ideas? what do you think about the whole situation?

[ Answer this question ]

Additional info, added Sunday November 30 2008, 9:32 pm:
almost forgot. Sometimes she steals the way I talk or my personality. She even steals the way I dance. She started practicing after she saw until she could get close enough. This is stupid, but one day she was over, we were brushing out teeth, and when i'm done, I usually lick them to make sure they are slick. From the corner of my eye, I could see her watching, then she started doing it. One day we were putting on lotion, and she said she loved how I put lotion on my hands, and i should teach her....then i guess she started putting it on like me, even though i didn't teach her.....I think she just doesn't know herself or who she is, but your guy's advice is helping me so much. Thank you.

Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


Letysmakeup answered Sunday November 30 2008, 8:42 pm:
I think that your X bestfriend has some serious issues...........

From everything you wrote it is very true that she is very envious of you. If you have a best friend you want the best for her in every way and from what you wrote it seems that she wants to be on top of the staircase in everything.

First of all did you confront her on the main issue, the competiveness?? If you did and she straight out ignore the issue then you need to let go...

Just be upfront with her and let her know that you feel you two have grown up and now things have changed in how you feel about your relationship. Try to cut all ways with her and move on...............

Breaking up with a friend is hard but sometimes we have to do it for ourselfs.......

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sarline answered Wednesday November 26 2008, 4:37 pm:
Hello there.

Listen, maybe this is also your fault.
What you need to do is tell her how you feel. She obvoiusly dosen't know waht is going on. The fact that she really wants to be your friends just proves it. And breaking up with your boyfriend because of this was not the right choice. If you trusted your boyfriend enough and new he wouldn't cheat on you, then you would have found a better solution. Another way is you are bringing this upon yourself. Once again talk to her instead of rejecting her. If all you say you did for her is true then that proves you are a great friend. Either she is jelouse or it's just a considence.
She know what a great friend you are and doesn't want to hurt you or be an enemy.

write back comments.
see ya

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meep answered Sunday November 23 2008, 4:51 pm:
Yeah. The key in sentence in that whole thing is that; you helped her loose weight. A lot of times when people do cruel things to others is because they think that the person can take it for whatever crazy reason. They think that you're stronger or more whatever that you can deal with pain normal people can't. She also seems to think that you understand this need that she probably can't put into words b/c you were there throughout her metamorphasis. The best thing to do is cut her off. You can listen when she calls you on the phone. But, move on. She's only going to hurt you really bad. Any female friend that would try to steal your boyfriend past, present or future is not a friend. If you have to cut her off completely so be it.

She may also be trying to get you back for something you didn't realize that you did when she was heavier. All in all; her behavior sounds crazy and dangerous for your mental health.

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Jami answered Sunday November 23 2008, 4:42 pm:
Based on what you have written, it seems that she is suffering from some inadequecy issues. She doesn't feel that she measures up to you so she feels a constant need to compete with you. She may also have some low self-esteem which would make things worse. I honestly don't think that she knows how to be a friend to you. It sounds like she idolizes you but has a lot of jealousy to go with it. Anyone that tries to mess with your boyfriend or cause conflict in your love life, is NOT your friend. She might like you, but just can't get control of her envy. I hate to say it, but that is someone who you will need to let go. Right now she can do minor things, but down the line life will only become more competitive and it will be her causing problems with your husband, your house, kids, career etc. You really have to protect yourself from people like her. You have done the right thing by staying clear of her and not telling her your secrets anymore. I'm sure you have other friends that are genuine so you don't need to worry about her. Keep people around you that wish you well and congratulate you, anyone who can't do that is not worthy of being in your circle. Your real friends will be happy for you as you would them and you will all want the best for eachother.

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