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he doesn't care
the guys i go for ALWAYS hurt me, as a result i have become pretty negative as far as relationships go. the person who messed me up the most though was this boy david. my neighbor jake brought me to a party where i ended up meeting a bunch of guys from his all boys school. the host was cute and we ended up making out but i found out he was a womanizer. well anyways, david had a girlfriend at the time of the party but i guess he got messed up and ended up making out with this really slutty not very attractive model. that was the night i met david. he gave me and jake a ride home from the party and he was cute and charming and asked for my number just in case he got lost going home and needed directions. from that night forward we began calling each other best friend and texting all the time. i eventually began to like him. we kept texting and he was very flirty and we went to the mall together. we were talking about a good 2 or 3 months while he was with his gf untill he finally dumped her for me. we started to have a thing immediately after and i was so happy but i wasnt sure i trusted him considering he has cheated on his gf and the fact he dumped her for me. he told me how we werent going to see anyone else and he was very protective of me. being my dumb self i bought into the fact that i was different. i told him about this guy who had reallyy hurt me and he promised he would never do that to me. i turned down many guys for him and went to a couple parties without him where i was completely loyal. he at one point told me i wasnt as skinny as most girls he goes for (i am 5'5 and 118 pds with a flat stomache and boobs). i had never been body concious until he said that. he ended up getting mono from his previous gf and lucky me, i got it too about a week and a half after him. i got it alot worse though and had to go to the hospital for three days because of it. he didnt visit me. then when i got out about two days later he came over and that was when i started to realize just how dumb he truly was. like this kid is actually a complete idiot! well i lost 10 pounds from the mono he had given me that i wasnt yet recovered from and i looked so disgustingly skinny but he told me how much better i looked and how i shouldnt gain my weight back! he pounced on me despite the fact i wasn't fully recovered and shoved his tounge down my throat. he had recovered mono and men cant get it a second time so the fact i still had it didnt matter to him. oh and i left something out, throughout our whole relationship he ALWAYS mentioned to me how ugly that model was and how he regret kissing her, and he would make fun of her and her ugliness every time she put up new photos on facebook. well anyways he went to lax camp that weekend but he made sure to call me every night. friday night was the night he decided to give me the rule that i was no longer allowed to talk to any other guys. that saturday he was texting me all day as usual, but at night he decided to spaz out on me about the fact that i dont tell him i like him enough therefore i must not like him. he was being rediculous. the next day he was normal and i called him out for the night before and he took me all wrong and got super offended. he was comming home that day and had wanted to chill but he stopped talking to me. that night he didnt call and i knew something was up. the next day i texted him and he broke things off saying he wanted to be able to do stuff with other girls but still wanted me as well. i knew something was up. that night, pictures went up and i got to see a lovely photo of david from the previous night making out with the ugly model. i was in shock. it was a terrible feeling. i moved on quickly to this cute senior and didnt reply to any of david's texts that week. the next week he began to beg for me back when i actually replied to him. i didnt take him back and he stopped talking to me again. then he tried to get me to be his "friend with benefits". i was NOT for that and intentionally gave him worlds worst blue balls. then he tried to get me back several other times after that. he also came to a party at my house, puked in my sink i clearly told everyone not to use bc it doesnt work properly and didnt confess untill he wasnt even at my house anymore. i got grounded for the rest of the summer. i kind of left out the fact that after things didnt work with the senior i made out with a TON of different guys. i was so hurt that i thought it would make me feel better. well we ended up talking again and being friends again and he asked me to his homecomming and i said yes. we talked over the fact we were just going as friends despite the fact he still liked me. i wasnt over him he didnt know that though, and i am not dumb enough to ever go back to someone who hurts me like that. the whole night he kept trying to be all touchy feely and was trying to make out with me. i distanced my self a bit and of course my other friends from his school new everything so i looked dumb even being there with him. i dont know if it was the fact that i didnt want him or what but he immediately ditched me at the after party. me and this girl stole the alcohol bottel and i drank untill i was no longer upset. i dont remember much of that night, i guess i meade out with 6 guys though including david. 2 of which were at a different party i dont even remember being at. i left david a couple drunken voicemails then went to bed. the next day i tried to call to appologize for being an emberassment and thank him for taking me, he didnt pick up. he never called back. my good guy friend later informed me how proud of himself alex was over the summer when he did stuff with the ugly model and that he had gotten head from her! also i guess he was talking about how he wasnt going to call me back or respond to my texts. i was really hurt, all i wanted was to talk to him. i had ALWAYS heard him out and he couldnt listen to me the one time i messed up? also my drinking buddy told me he had planned on trying to get with her and texted her earlier in the week trying to see if shed do stuff with him at the afterparty. i wonder if that was before or after he tried to convince me to go as more than just his friend. i wonder if he planned on kissing us both! basically he hates me, i probably dont even cross his mind and i am pathetic and i still think about him all the time. and i still starve myself sometimes because he has me so afraid of my weight. i dont know what to do, or how to deal with it or him. everyone at his school hates him now because he ratted out a ton of kids including some of his best friends for having drugs and alcohol just to save his own skin from getting expelled. he got two kids expelled 1 of which is not on probation and 10 suspended, all just to save his own ass. how do i still care about someone so selfish and decietful? how can i get over him? and honestly do you think that one night mistake i made was as bad as everything he did to me? please just tell me anything you think. thankyou. sorry this is so long.
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Hes an evil abuser.
Serously. you wer in an abusive relationship.
im so sorry.
there isnt anything positive that you can get from him. instead, go to grownups that can help. find a specialist to help you get ovr the body issues that hes forced on you. speak with a therapist about how much you miss him. hes ABUSED you mentally. its going to be difficult to heal from this alone.
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woah that was long. i'm sorry for everything you have been through, it's horrible. no girl should ever have to go through ANYTHING like that, but we all seem to at least once in our lifetime. for your weight, david must be fucking crazy. i would like to tell that kid off seriously. im 5'5 too and i weigh around the same as you and people are always telling me how skinny i am, and how good of a stomach i have and i actually think i look TOO skinny sometimes. you are nowhere near fat, and you definately don't need to be losing any weight. please please please don't ever let a boy bring you down about your weight, you are fine just the way you are and it just shows how shallow of a guy david was. it is hard though to know that you should hate someone, but you just can't bring yourself to do it no matter what. i'm in a situation like that right now too. that one night you messed up is NOTHING compared to what he did to you. david needs to grow the hell up and realize that nobody is perfect, especially not him. you're so much better than that sweetie, you're such a strong girl. you deserve SO much better than him. i feel sorry for the next girl david tries to go for, because if he puts her through half of the stuff he put you through she will be devastated. lose all contact with him. go out with your friends. i think you just need to take a break from guys right now. hang out with your girls and just get back to being yourself :) don't ever settle for anything less than you deserve. you deserve a guy who will come see you at the hospital, who will bring you flowers, who will be loyal to you, who you can trust with everything you have, who loves you just the way you are and wouldn't want it any other way. find a guy that loves you and only you. the one that gives you butterlifes, the one who will come see you when you're sick and just lay there with you while you watch movies. i hope you find this someday, because you sure as hell deserve it girl. i am so proud of you, you are one strong girl no matter what anyone says. you have been through so much but i know that it has only made you realize that you don't need certain people in your life. things change, no matter how hard you try to stop them from changing. sometimes they change for the better and sometimes for the worse, but they change and when they do, you're not always ready to let go or to grab on. don't be discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. if something happens you cannot control, then life isn't going to wait for you to catch up, you just have to keep on moving with life. when you have a problem like this, then think, i'm worth way more then all this. i'm going to make it and life goes on. i believe in you, you will make it ♥ LU
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