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why do i feel this way?
my ex and i broke up but we have been talking now to work things out. but i do get sad thinking about him. i knw its normal but how do i explain it to him. he thinks that i just get sad thinking of him so why try to work things out and be together again. any help would be appreciated.
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Thanks for writing in my inbox.
Yes, you are correct it is normal to feel sad and upset when your relationship ends.
Just explain to him, HE doesnt make you sad. The thought of how things used to be reguarding him make you sad. And, how you miss him and wish everything was back to normal. Tell him the reason you should work things out is because everyone deserves a second chance, and you need that closure because you are obviously not over him.
Good luck
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Thanks for inboxing.
I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess that this was a long term relationship.
The reason I say this is because with short term relationships, feelings have yet to fully form and so with you being sad about him, makes me think that this was a long term relationship.
So with that in mind, I'm going to now guess that the reason as to why you're feeling sad about him, is because you're wondering as to where the relationship went wrong, after going for... I don't know how long.
So seeing him at the moment reminds you of that relationship and the break up and you're sad because I guess at one point, you thought that the two of you would never break up but when that did happen, naturally as you said, you felt very sad about it.
Talking to him right now I think isn't the right time. You're evidently still affected by the break up so I suggest that you give yourself some 'me time' when you just take it easy for a while, sort out your feelings and go from there.
As for your ex, tell him that you need to have some alone time so you can sort some things out and decide as to where to go from where you are.
I know it wasn't what you asked, but seriously, I think that a little break from him would be the best thing right now.
Should you have any further questions, don't hesitate to drop another question in!
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Hi,
I'm glad you reached out to talk to me. Any type of break up is hard. I think you first have to reevaluate why you broke up in the first place. Are those issues still there? Are you happy being apart. I think the most important question would be are you sad because you miss him and want to get back together or are you sad because of the way things ended?
What I mean by this is do you think he is a good person, but because of certain situations, things just couldn't work out between the two of you.
I think once you answer that question, you can better explain the situation to him.
If however you are sad because the two of you aren't together and you are just anxious to figure it out so that the two of you can get a fresh start, by all means tell him that and go for it! I
I didn't have all of the ins and outs to your situation, but I hope I helped you in some way.
Good luck to you and him,
Ediemarie
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