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Long question, desperatly needing advice.
I just really am about to spill. I don't have many friends I can share this with. So please help me!
To start I'm completly in love with my ex. We went out for 6 months and after ending it, not wanting to be friends, 6 months later, I'm still obsessed with him, and still unsure of the reason we ended it.
We'll call him Mike.
The next guy I just met. He's amazing but also 17, and I'm 15. He is exactly like me and I want nothing more but to be with him. Except, He doesn't know I like him, and I'm totally unsure about how he feels about me. & I don't want to tell him because it'll definitely change things. Oh and he doesn't go to my school.
We'll call him Steve.
And the last guy I've known for awhile. He's a COMPLETE asshole. He cheats on his girlfriend with me, he smokes, he drinks, he's a manwhore, he has sex with random people. But for some reason, I LOVE the attention. I just love it. I'm not sure if it's because I want to make my ex jealous, cause I find myself always talking loud about how we made out and things when I'm around my ex. Or if I actually like this guy..All my friends HATE HIM. They think he's a terrible person, and I know he just is going to hurt me. He's already lead me on twice and we're going on the third time. & I have to lie about him to my friends and stuff because thats how much they dissapprove of him. We'll call him Tom.
I think I like Tom, but I'm not sure if I do. and Steve is just amazing. But I'm not over Mike at ALL. And I'm not sure if steve likes me.
So what so I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Kill Tom right now. You can get attention from people who aren't assholes. You should get attention from someone who loves you, not who just wants to f*** you. And if he's cheating on someone for you, what's going to stop him from cheating on you for someone else? Chicks before dicks. It's better to have friends than a loser who could harm you.
Now. On to...Mike. It may be time to move on. If there is no possible way that you could get together, then you shouldn't spend your time thinking that you can. It's just going to prevent you from meeting other guys if you compare all of them to Mike. Or if you even have him on your mind at all. Burn the pictures, delete the texts and emails. Let go. If there's a chance, and it's REALLY THERE, and you aren't just imagining it, still try to let go. Show him that you can live a life without anyone by your side.
Or if you have to have someone, I'd say go for Steve. He sounds good, but make sure you look for his flaws, and not just his perfections. Look past the surface. Flirt like crazy, and if you get good vibes, ask him out. Get your mind off Mike. Forget I even just said his name.
I hope this helps.
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Honestly I think you need to completely cut Tom from your love list. Although you like the attention you are just heading down a dangerous path with him. Honestly he is going to pull you down hard. Just so you know that kind of guy will just crush you, hes an user he will tell you things you want to hear and you will lose yourself in all the lies. If you have to lie to your friends to be with him, then my God, it is so not worth it. And honestly the thing to decide between Steve and Mike, is you really need to make a list of pros and cons, and you really need to follow your heart on this one. I can't tell you which one is better for you, you need to decide that. If you still love Mike, I believe love is the greatest thing in the world, it doesn't come by often so when it does, you really want to make the most of every opportunity with it, so my suggestion is to talk to Mike and see how he feels, b/c otherwise youll just keep wondering and youll kick yourself if you don't ever find out. Go find out b/c even if he says hes over you you can give Steve a try. Leave it up to fate, because afterall things do happen for a reason.
Best of luck to you. But one thing I have learned in life is that if we have the chance to love we realyl should take the chance, I have missed a couple chances so thats how I know youll regret it. I have.
Good luck, all the best :)
<3 Jeannie
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im only sixteen, but ill try my best with some good advice, im usually good at these kinda things with my friends.
first of all, i know its hard, but dump tom. you do not love him, you love the fact that you think he loves you. he doesnt love you, he never will. hes using you to get more action. if hes cheating on his girlfriends with you, he wont even hesitate to cheat on you with others girls if you do end up dating. if you do end up dating, youll fall head over heels for him because he will treat you amazingly, and youll never suspect he'd cheat on you of all people. but let me tell you, he will. guys like that wont change for ANYONE. you can make out with him while your single, things like that. avoid having sex or anything like that because youll just keep getting more attached and youll keep thinking he loves you and you love him, but thats not the case. dump him before you get in too deep. if your friends dont approve of him, theres a reason. never like/love/adore/crush on a guy that your friends hate, theyre a good judge of character if theyre friends with you. you can milk all the attention you want from tom, just dont get in to deep and actually start having feelings for him. hes sort of just your toy, its like using him like he uses girls.
you obviously arent over your ex, but your still exploring your options before you go back to him. you wanna see if some other guy could make you feel like mike makes you feel, which is understandable, and i would do the exact same thing. youre only fifteen, and you dont wanna go throw around the word love very often.
who cares if steve is 17? age doesnt really matter when your in high school, or even when youre older. if you guys have a lot in common, keep talking to him as much as possible, and try hanging out with him more; he'll probably get the hint that youre interested. if hes stupid, then youll have to actually say it. its scary to tell someone you like them not knowing what theyll say; but if you dont youll regret it and think well what if he really does like me? youll never know until you physically ask him. he cant read minds and neither can you. if you tell him and it changes things, then hes not a good friend and you can find some better guy or go back to mike.
start talking to mike again, and if he doesnt seem interested, dont cry over him, move on. there are plenty of guys and youre most likely not going to fall in love. youre young and have plenty of high school left and college to find someone you really truly love. if youre unsure of why you broke up, talk to him about it and if theres not a good reason, tell him you want to get back with him. if you break up again its probably not meant to be.
hope it helps a little bit :)
sorry if its too long!
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