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I feel like a loser...
14/f (sorry about the length)
7th grade was one of the best years of my life. I had a almost all of my best friends in the same class with me, all of my teachers loved me, and one of the most popular boys had this huge crush on me so he would constantly be around me, and brought all his other really popular friends along with him. The best year EVER.
But 8th grade REALLY SUCKS so far. I have my one very best friend in my class and a few other good friends, and NO ONE ELSE-I barely even see my other friends. That really popular guy? He completely and totally moved on and doesn't even look at me now, and he's in my class this year, too. 3 teachers out of 5 HATE me and will do anything they can do in their power to torture me. It gets worse, too... last year I was actually really outgoing and boys were constantly around me... this year, I'm so quiet and I barely talk unless I have to, and only a few boys still say hi to me in the hallway... at home I'm really stressed out, I barely do my homework, and I always get in fights with my sisters and especially my parents... I can't leave myself alone because I beat myself up (mentally, not physically... I just yell at myself), and I'm very ashamed to say this, but sometimes I even masturbate... I know that's disgusting and it's very hard for me to say, even anonymously. I feel really weird after that, too. This year I got permission to have a cellphone, and everyday I check the messages on it, and for some reason I always think maybe SOMEONE will call me, but I don't think anyone ever has. I also got permission to date and no one has asked me out.
So please, I really need help. I really don't know what's wrong with me. As I'm typing this I'm realizing how bad it really seems... I don't know what went wrong--Last year I was popular, I was happy and felt loved, I was pretty, funny, sweet...I didn't have single care. I'm not sure what went wrong. I stayed pretty, I may have even gotten prettier, and I'm sweeter and funnier than ever... but... I don't get it. Someone please help. I need back the self confidence I once had, I need to be outgoing again, I need to hear from someone other than my mother say I'm beautiful... I'm not asking you to tell me that, but I think you get my point. Oh, and please don't tell me to see a doctor... I don't want professional help... I don't think it's bad enough for that... Thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Well, there are only two things which I can think of: one, you're beginning to go into puberty where you'll experience a lot of emotional changes and other things or two, something happened before 8th grade began which knocked your confidence.
However, I feel like as if this is just a period in your life where you're going through some changes and one of those things which I think should stand out is the masturbation. That's perfectly normal, so there should be nothing to be ashamed about, anonymous or not. So it should just work itself out.
There's no need to see a doctor about this, this isn't a physical problem, it seems to be a mental problem. Not in a bad way, but something has made you less outgoing.
I think you need to begin by just talking to more people than just your friends, talk to the other boys more at lunch times etc or if they're just hanging about, ask if you can join them and have fun with them. Try and find out when your friends are free so you can see them more often and try and meet new people outside your friends. Don't expect everybody to begin calling you if you've got a mobile. Share your number with them so they can contact you whenever they want.
As for your teachers, work out as to why they don't like you and see whether there is anything you can do to make them like you. But don't change who you are just to make them happy, so like if it's small things like talking more in class etc. then you can work on that, but anything bigger than that is a no, no. Or you can just ask them. It's important that the teacher and the student should get on, otherwise, that student won't do well in that class.
If you take a look at my profile, you'll see that I've got a quote which compares life to a rollercoaster and how it's got it's up and downs. Well, last year was the up now this year, it's the down, but what I say is that you need to work your way back to the top of the rollercoaster again.
Sorry if this was a little confusing.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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All I can say is why??? Deep down inside you you know why all of this happened!! Don't get me wrong sometimes it's hard to figure out what went wrong. But you lost yourself that's all. And all it takes to make everything right again is to find yourself again. Find what you really love doing. Did you love the attention you got? Or was it constantly having friends around?? Once you realize what it was that made you truly happy you can fix everything again. You don't need people or things to make you a happy, outgoing, fun person. All you need is yourself. And those constant reminders that your mom is giving you isn't just because she's a mom. She has eyes too and I guarantee that she can see that your going through a rough time and can't help you. Did something happen between you and your friends?? Think about some of this that I asked you and write me back on what you have figured out and I will help you more. Good luck. kimc514@aol.com
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