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me vs. my mom
so, this is kinda a long story..i don't really know what to do..my boyfriend tells me that my mom treats me like shit and i let it happen..i mean she says the most hurtful things you could think of..like "if i knew you were gonna be like this i'd never have you" or pretty much, "i wish you were never born"..am i that bad?! my boyfriend says it's her that's a bitch, and my mom tells everyone in my family that i never do what she asks, which is bullshit..so now everyone is giving me crap about it..i go to college..i'm 18..my boyfriend says i'm old enough to make my own decisions but until i understand that, my mom is just going to keep treating me like shit..but i still have that respect for my parents..i do what i can..i'm the youngest and my two brothers, one who she favors, moved out a long time ago, and my sisters got married when i was younger..i'll stop here.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Oi christ.
Your mother wants something to feel in control of. You're trying to exercise your freedom and shes trying to slap you down to the point that you will let her control you again.
There is no simple solution to this.
Your mother is this kind of person. You have several different choices to make.
First, will you accept this? Are you going to accept that your mother is a flawed, controlling person and try to love her anyway, or will you say "I can't take this, its not fair of her to be this way, and I can't be in contact with her because its more hurtful than its worth"
That was my choice, at least. I do not speak to my family any more. You my not want to, or may not be able to make that choice, its entirely up to you.
If you do accept them, you then have to decide if you cowtow to keep the peace or if you resist and fight back a little.
You know what the problem is here? You're afraid to have your own opinion.
Lets see. I think I saw "My boyfriend says" four times. Its great that he has an opinion and all, but what about you?
I havent seen a single thing about how _you_ feel.
How the hell do you feel?
Your boyfriend may well be right (it kinda sound like it from what you said) but it doesnt make a shits worth of difference if you don't have your own opinion. You need to sit down and think about this. Ask yourself and don't let yourself lie. Don't make excuses. Just ask "how does this make me feel, and why do I feel this way" and start trying to work out what YOU think.
What YOU say. Not your boyfriend, not your mother, not your family. You're 18. It IS time to grow up. It IS time you made your own decisions.
::Edit::
You know, I can't respond directly to GilbertMar, because I have not yet been a parent.
But, rebelliousness is preprogramed into kids (so preparing yourself for it mentally seems like a logical jump) and if kids are so much of a burden then maybe you shouldn't have reproduced in the first place...
Is a child who is raised improperly, emotionally neglected, used to satisfy the parent's various psychological needs without regards to the child's, supposed to be grateful? You act as if bad parents do not exist.
If you are expecting, and you think you gave up so much to become one, then please get yourself sterilized, or at least consider abortion. We've already got 6 billion self centered retarded jackasses on this planet, we won't miss your addition.
Contrary to popular belief, every life that enters this world is NOT a miracle. Was the day Hitler was born a miracle for the world?
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It's funny how life is such a completion to some people. "What have you done for me lately?" No matter what, you can NEVER top what your mother has given you! Would it hurt you to acknowledge that, would it also kill you to find out why she feels this way and worse yet, why she expresses these things openly to you?
Why does it surprise so many of you children when a parent shows resentment for a child who in all reality has taken that parents life from them, then spits on them and their words. They care nothing of what they came from and think they have actually sacrificed because they do a chore or two around the house
Parents give up their lives for their children, they set all their wants and sometimes their needs aside for you and often what keeps them going is the thought that it will come back to them in the end. But, you know what, it never does. We never get what is due use, what we get is a child who fights us all our lives, one who never stops expecting more.
Look at her my dear, take a close look, for she is you, but for a child or two. She is your future, she is what you will be, unless you have the intelligence and strength to see this and face it and change it. Otherwise just continue being the ungrateful child and don't recognize her greatest of accomplishments. YOU dear spirit.
Follow up,
Wow, where did the two of you come up with your responses. I guess it shouldn't surprise me, obviously you have not the capability to understand the written word. Read this again with out your bias and try to understand what I'm saying. Here, I'll dumb it down for you. Parents always, yes, I said ALWAYS, have their favorites, you will too. I love all three of my children and I walked into parenthood with both eyes wide open and gladly gave my life for them and still do to one extent or another. I love them all, but honestly, I don't like one of them, (there is a difference, I love her as my child, but I don't like her as a person). As for the other two, I like them both, but to very much different degrees. This is human nature, you can't fight it.
Second of all, as to your problem, I was trying to give you the in-site to talk with your mother, what the hell is wrong with you MTV watching kids that you can't sit down and talk to your own parents and try to understand them, instead of always expecting us to understand and just except you. I read your letters, both of you and see ME...ME...ME, the world is all about me and you better well understand that. Will you ever come to grips with the fact that your mother is a human being with all the thoughts and worries of one, but then, you don't give a damn about that, because you don't have to understand her, do you?
Get off your pedestal of martyrdom, (Oh poor me), and talk to her like an adult, then maybe she'll treat you like one, gee, maybe you'll even learn something.
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