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mom and sex

Question Posted Friday October 31 2008, 4:52 pm

I'm going to become sexually active soon. Its inevitable. I'm 17 (turning 18 in March). I'm in college, I'm responsible etc.

My mom and I don't really talk about sex. I never got the birds and the bees talk, but its semi-comfortable to talk about my period and puberty stuff with her.

I want my mom to be supportive and I don't want to hide things from her. I'm not saying I want her to be jumping for joy because I'm going to be sexually active, but I want to come to her for advice or support.

How do I get both of us comfortable to talk about stuff like that?

By the way my friend said that I should say "Mom, I think I might need to go on the pill," but I already am (my mom knows). Its to regulate my period.

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StarryNightSkies answered Saturday November 1 2008, 5:47 pm:
i agree 100% with the person who posted below me. i just think it sounds a little weird when it comes to saying "is that alright with you" cause i mean obviously no mom wants to see their teenage daughter grow up in that kind of way. but it really is best that you tell her before you become active cause it's much easier doing it that way instead of coming to her and telling her you're pregnant.

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Razhie answered Friday October 31 2008, 5:38 pm:
Start off by telling her almost EXACTLY what you just told us.

"Mom, I want you to know I'm not sexually active right now, and I'm telling you that because, eventually I will be and I don't want to hide things from you. I value your advice and support and want to be able to come to you for it when I do start to have sex. Is that going to be okay with you?"

I know, it's damn hard to put all your cards on the table like that. That's why so many people give those sort of backwards hints like 'I need to go on the pill' and why people say absolutely silly things like 'I think I love you.'

We are terrified to really commit ourselves to our feelings and opinions. It feels like putting a big emotional bulleyes on your chest, but it's IS the best way to communicate. It's honest, open, and geunine and you'll make your mother sooo proud and happy (even if she doesn't really want to talk about it and the idea stresses her out!) At the same time, you'll be giving her a respectful chance to back out a bit by asking her what her comfort level with that kind of conversation.

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