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humorist-workshop
Arguements/Irritable
18/f and boyfriend 20/m
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and a half. Yes, this is quite a bit of time. Yet it seems recently we have been getting into arguements frequently, and it's usually over something silly. and I know relationships consists of arguements every now and then but this frequent is strange to me. Although sometimes I admit I get a little irritable and snap back at him but I think one of the problems is seeing him so often. I have a feeling he's depend on me and doesn't hang out with his friends like I should. I shouldn't be pushed to see him everyday. I really don't know how to tell him (although i have already told him he needs to hang out with his friends too) but the thing is.. we don't go out alot. For one, he pays for most of his stuff and is trying to save up for a phone (yes a cell phone) he has to pay for his phone and bill. I almost feel bad because his parents kinda just kicked him out and told him he needed to be independent. I don't blame them though because he's 20 and he's used to being dependent on his parents.But anyways.. I'm wondering what do I do to make things work. I thought about a break but I tried that before and he flipped and thought it was a break up and kept asking like how much time and how often do i call you and we ended up just putting that aside. I feel like all our problems are pushed aside and nothing gets solved and I have confronted him about it and we's "SAY" we'd fix them but things never change. I don't know what to do, things are just getting harder and harder. Any input or ideas?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Stop talking about this and simply make the change you need: Make plans.
Stop trying to make him understand, he isn't getting it. Stop giving a damn if he hangs out with his friends or not. This isn't about what you think he needs, this is about what you KNOW that you need.
Take the time away from him that you need, and polietely, but firmly, expect him to deal with it.
Tell him you are sorry, you can't hang out on Tuesday because you going to have a girls night, and on Friday you are... i dinno... playing board games with your mom. Maybe Saturday afternoon you are going to do some baking because you always wanted too, so you are busy then too.
Book yourself up with personal activities and socialization. Work with him to book 3 or 4 times a week to hang out and enjoy one another's company. Plan activities for those times and don't just sit on your asses.
Firmly remind him that this isn't a break, this is simply the fact of your lives: You have other responsibilties and interests besides him, and you've been neglecting them for too long.
Will he be hurt and throw tantrums? He might. Just stick to your message that you still care for him, but you need to take care of yourself as well, or you will end up resenting him.
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