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I'm in love with a guy that cheated on me.
Ok here's the thing I met this guy A.J online through a game that we both played. Anyways we started out as friends, well I thought we did, but A.J started liking me quite early on, while I had a crush on best friend. But liking my friend in that way started to diminish the more time I spent with A.J. Long story short after I had stopped crushing on best friend, A.J and I started this major thing. We got together and he told me that he loved me and i eventually told him that i loved him. Well it turns out that he had gotten back together with his ex while he was dating me. He told each of us that the other was his best friend nothing more. we found out and confronted him on it. He chose to continue dating her. I tried to get rid of him from my life, but I couldnt. At first it was just to find out why he did it, then it moved to trying to convince him that he made the wrong choice, then friends, and then we were kind of in limbo. We talked more then he and his gf. He told me that he still loved me and that he made the wrong choice that he only loved his gf more as a friend and he just doesnt want to deal with her temper that breaking up with her would cause. So i sort of believed him on that matter and since she was in a different country it was very easy to fool myself. but it was really starting to get to me that he was still with her. then i got to know her and she's nice and i felt really guilty and so I confronted him on the matter and he says he really doesnt know how he feels about her, but he does love me. I want him to make a choice about this and stop toying with the both of us, but he can't or wont. we still talk but for me it seems like he's pushing me away, but he says im being silly that he loves me. I just really don't know what to do about it, from the way we talk since we first broke up i've always gotten the feeling that he liked me better then her, that he only went with her cause he didnt want a serious relationship and with her it wouldnt happen, with me it would since we were in the same state. I love him still but this is really destroying me, i either just want him completely out of my life or completely in it. Could you guys tell me what you think about my situation, sorry it was so long or a bit confusing. f/18
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okay this guy chose the other girl. he has been known to lie and make up stories in the past. to me what he told you about not wanting to deal with the girl's temper is bull. if he really wants to be with you, he should be willing to go through anything with anyone. he should be willing to risk having to deal with her temper. when people love each other, they don't give into what other people do or say, they just cope because they really do care about each other. maybe you can talk to the girlfriend more and find out what he says to her. that way you can really see how he is. but i honestly think that he is playing. i'm not trying to be rude or anything, i just, think you deserve better. you should get rid of him completely, which is easy for me to say, but will be very difficult for you to do. but keeping him around knowing that he is with some other girl is not cool. you should have someone who will be with you, and only you, not with another girl, and pretending to like you more when he actually chose to go out with her. anyway....i'm only 16 but i hope this can help out some. goodluck!
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You are probably right about him pushing you away: He is pushing you away each time you start to demand he behave like a respectable and decent person. He doesn't want to behave. He just wants what he wants without the baggage (her temper, or your expectation of decent behavoir).
Look at the very simple facts:
He two timed you.
He has a girlfriend, but he is telling you that he loves you.
Thats pretty scummy behavoir. That's betrayal. If he will betray a nice girl, and you let him get away with it, someday he'll betray you too... well, he'll betray you agian.
Get him completely out of your life. He's a self absorbed little boy and a low life. Block him online and ignore him in person.
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