Question Posted Saturday October 25 2008, 11:07 pm
Okay, so I'm 14 and for the past year or so my mom and I haven't been getting along. At all. She yells at me for the littlest things, and never lets me explain myself. She never listens to me and just assumes she knows what I'm gonna say before I say it. I feel lie she never even wantsed me, she treats my older sis and younger bro like they are angels, when my sis does drugs, my bro has anger issues, and I just try to be perfect, she points out the littlest imperfections in me and makes me feel bad about myself, and the way I dress, and do my hair and makeup and everything all the time. I've actually thought of suicide before.
I know most ppl are going to be like 'oh well just talk to her about it' anda bunch of other things like that but I've tried, plenty of times. And she just gets defensive, yells, and acts like she did nothing wrong. Its to the point where we barely even talk anymore. So I don't know what to do about it. If you have anything you can tell me....please help?
Michele answered Sunday October 26 2008, 12:23 pm: Honey,
I know what you are going thru, though it has been many many years. It is like living it all over again. And today my brother and sister are failures and I am successful. And my mother still thinks she was a perfect mother.
I know you are young and time passes slowly, but it does go by. The best thing you can do is get strong, get some skills so that you can support yourself and get out of the house as soon as you turn 18, or as soon as possible after. If college is an option then go for it. That is the best way. Any kind of education or training in some trade will help. Find your own inner self, by being your own best friend. Don't let their sickness afect you. Don't let her harsh words and put down become your internal message. Seek out adults (maybe at school or a part time job) who think well of you, who praise you, and try to work hard to gain their confidence and praise. It will be slow to internalize their good words, but it can work. Be patient. Some day you will be in total charge of your own life. Set yourself up so you can look back and just feel sorry for them. Being successful is the best revenge against people who are not supportive.
I know that is how it is supposed to be in families, but not all of us are given good families.
Good luck to you.
-Michele [ Michele's advice column | Ask Michele A Question ]
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