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How to bury the hatchet
Male, mid-20s.
Let's say that you were friends once with a girl, and then you dated, then you broke up, but still remained friends. Now, let's say you did what you thought was right to protect said friend, and she stabbed in the back as a result.
Now, let's say that after trying to clear the bad blood didn't work, you spent years filled with anger at said girl, so much so that everytime you see her, you don't want to be around wherever you were anymore, even if it's a place you love.
And let's suppose that you realize that if you don't at least make it so there is no more anger between you two, it's going to mess with your mental health.
How the hell would you at least end the anger and hatred, if not repair the friendship?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Let’s say that hypothetical questions with vague indications of fault are a poor way to communicate and create understanding about a serious conflict.
I’m a firm believer that peace comes from acceptance and tolerance, so, cut through the crap and be straight up when you face this issue. Real life is not a hypothetical exercise. It’s your life.
So, how do you forgive when you know it will only hurt you if you don’t?
Well, everyone is a bit different and every situation is a bit different, but in the words of the great acting coach you should 'fake it, till ya feel it'. That means behave as though you have forgive and are at peace. That means accept what IS, and avoid 'what ifs', ‘could bes’ and assumptions about other people’s choices or state of mind. Know what you know, and don’t accept what you don’t. That also means striking phrases like 'stabbed in the back' out of your vocabulary. People who are at peace, don't use language like that.
Start there. By controlling your thoughts and your language and making sure that they are rational and tolerant. Keep doing it, until it becomes instinctual.
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