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my best friend and his girlfriend..
hiiiiii :)
i'll give anyone who answers a 5, because this is long! thanks!
18/f. i have a best friend who is turning 17 in about 3 months and his girlfriend is already 17. im in college (freshman) but i commute, so i still live at home and he is a junior in high school. i know some of you may think, wow age difference? guys dont mature as fast as girls? yes. but my best friend is totally different. he gets me. we've been friends for about three and a half years now. he's been going out with his girlfriend for about two and a half. before he was going out with his girlfriend we use to hang out pretty much everyday. we both kind of liked each other but neither of us told one another. lets just say we were physicallly attracted to each other but we were also very comfortable with each other. we've never kissed or done anything physical. anyways when he started going out with his girlfriend, i was jealous i'll admit it and i STILL AM. she is known to be the "hottest" girl in school and she is an athletic girl and is good at what she does. she plays fastpitch tennis and hockey for school, and well he is the starting quarterback for his school, he is pretty much the star athlete for all the sports he plays at school (hockey baseball and football) i guess all the colleges are looking to recruit him and well all the girls think he is hot too. they go to the same school. well after about a year of them going out or even a couple months, things between us were different. i don't get to see him anymore, maybe once in about two or three months, he doesn't text me anymore and i feel like we're not even "best friends" anymore because he is ALWAYS with his girlfriend, any chance he gets. sometimes i'll have an excuse to text him like last weekend i met one of his friends at a party, and i was like i met your friend jake tonight! and he was like jake who? and i was like..i forget his last name but he use to play football with you and then he never said anything back. im really sick of texting him first and always getting disappointed because i feel like he doesnt even want to talk to me. him and his girlfriend are first loves, they even lost their virginity to each other and after being together for two and a half years and they rarely ever fight, of course they have good memories. i want him to be happy, but right now IM NOT HAPPY. i dont want to sound selfish but i'll always like him more than a friend but i realize we can never be more. im a jealous person, and of course im always jealous of his girlfriend. i've tried talking to him about it, and even one night about a month ago we were together with some friends and he started talking to me and was like, "what happened to us, why aren't we close anymore?" and i was just like well, alot happened i guess. and he was like you know you can tell me anything, we're best friends and i was like we WERE best friends... and he was like what do you mean! and i was just like i dont know..things between us will never be the same. and i think he felt bad and he says things will change, but it never does. i dont want him out of my life but im so miserable right now, have been for two and a half years without him. him and his girlfriend dont hang out with anyone but each other. he even said they want to go to the same college, but he can pretty much go to any college he wants to play hockey, and i think she might get a scholarship to play too. what if they do end up going to the same college? it just hurts knowing that his heart belongs to someone else, and how we're not close anymore and i dont think ever will be. it seems like he will only ask to hang out with me when his girlfriend has to do something or is out of town, which to me doesnt sound fair but of course i'll hangout with him any chance i get, because i really do miss him. my family is in love with him. he is talkitive to them well he is a very outgoing guy, and is so nice. i stay busy but i always think about what he is doing, every time i get a text i hope it's him (but it never is) i dont want to move on from him, i dont want him out of my life. i want my best friend back...
i dont know what to do!
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Dude.... Wow. I am living through the same thing.. It's a horrible feeling to know you can't him. Well I had a chance to be with him but I always denied him. I loved being with him but I didn't want our friendship to change. We were perfect together, people would confuse us for a couple until, He met his girlfriend. Ugh.. at first he denied his girl after being with her for three months. I was so hurt when I found out by her. Ugh... I almost cried. We were supposed to be best friends. Luckily he noticed something was wrong with me in class, I wasn't about to go tell him what I heard. When he asked me, my tears betrayed me and next thing I know I was in his arms. He promised he would never put me aside for nobody. Two years later, he is still with his girlfriend. I'm a freshman In college, single and about to leave the country. I got a full ride scholarship to Oxford for a biochemistry. He has begged me not to go and I have decided it would probably be the best. I moved 5 hours away from home after high school graduation and I still have him imprinted in my heart. I'm hoping after moving to Oxford I find a guy for myself. Maybe I'm moving to Oxford for the wrong reasons, but I think it would be the best way. The best way, I would say is to loose all kind of contact with him. I know it will break my best friend's heart but I had had enough of this love triangle. I'm sorry if I didn't help. We just have such a similar story, its insane... I wish you lots of luck.
Sen
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The way your putting it, he seems really happy with his girlfriend, especially of 2 years. I know it kills you to see him with her, believe me I have been though it. You just need to talk to him about how you feel, just be like "Hey we don't talk as much anymore, I thought we were best friends?" It will most likely pick up a conversation. Also, try to patch things up with him, if the conversation gets somewhere, be like "I need to tell you something" and tell him exactly how you feel. I know guys aren't always understanding, so don't get upset if he doesn't really give you the reply your looking for.
Don't waste your time on a boy, trust me I wasted 2 months on a boy, and passed up an amazing one! That amazing one forgave me, and we have been together for a month now! Try dating other people, I mean your in college right? There's plenty of cute guys there.
best of luck!
- Alex;
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Jelousy is a bad thing but not anyone can help being jelous of someone.
Well it seems your bestfriend is happy, maybe you should give him and his girlfriend a chance, i know this might sound harsh but you should try going about your other friends, you said he had no time for you.
You dont have to get him completely out of your life.
You can always talk to him, one time when his girlfriend is tied up with something be confident and talk to him about your friendship.
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