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I am insecure
It's taken me a long time to admit to myself that I have low self esteem and am uncomfortable in my own skin. In most social situations I worry about what I say, how I stand, how I should act, and even how to look at people. It isn't a good feeling because I feel like it's destroyed my understanding of who I am. I know what like, what my hobbies are, and what I want to get out of life, but I just feel so confused about myself. I first started to notice this when I started to like a guy at school. I couldn't even maintain a steady conversation with him for very long and found myself questioning my actions. After that, I couldn't even sit normally. And now see how in denial I've been because I am always conscious of myself. And I take out my frustration on my parents and friends. I feel like I can change and when I do, I know I'll feel wonderful, because this has been going on for a long time now. I decided that I had to let go of liking this guy because I'm not ready to pursue someone if I don't even have a clue about myself. If anyone has any ideas or experiences with self esteem, I would appreciate you help so much. Because wow, I really need help.
thank you :)
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A lot of people are insecure, and everyone has insecure moments. The real thing you need to start with is not trying to change so much as control.
For instance, when you're in some social situation and you start to feel that insecure "oh my god what if I (insert insecurity here)" feeling come on, wipe your mind of thoughts. Just close your eyes for a moment and pretend no one's there.
As bad as this sounds, it helps to not be sober at first. It's like trying to learn hacky sack. You can't care what people are thinking of you, so I learned while drunk and high in high school. I'm not promoting underage drinking or smoking weed, but that's how I learned hacky sack and how I got over a lot of insecurities.
Another, more legal, way to get over insecurities is to force yourself into the situations that make you seize up the most. Sooner or later, when you keep throwing yourself into these, you'll adjust and you'll feel okay. Then the ones below that that give you the willies will seem like nothing.
It's scary and there isn't one set way for anyone to to do anything, but I hope that I helped at least a little bit, and I hope you can overcome this so you can go after that cute guy you gave up on. ^_^
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Well I applaud you for realzing that you have aproblem and need help. Yes, I have gone thorugh this myself. I was just talking about this today actually to a friend of mine.
I would constantly judge myself in the light of everyone else, you can not do that. It is okay to look at people and want to be like them its called admiring them. And it is even okay to be insecure at times, everyone is. But if you are like this all the time then something is wrong. I don't know how old you are, but age does contribute a little to the insecurity, for instance, in highschool you have so many different cliques and its okay to feel lost like what group do you fit in and stuff like that. I think the reason you are so uncomfortable in your own skin is b/c you don't know who you are yet. I don't fully know who I am but I am finally comfortable in my skin, you want to know how I became like that. Its easy, I started focusing on the stuff I like to do like acting and singing and piano, and I made everything my own, thats were secruirty starts is originality. You have to be an individual. Okay so when you are talking to someone don't focus on how should I look at them, stand, talk back, just LISTEN to what they are saying, take a deep breath and answer them. I get nervous too at the times, its life its reality. But you should not be constantly judging yourself, b/c you are beautiful. I don't even have to see what you look like, because everyone is beautiful in their own way. I think another to get over this, so you don't lose it with your parents and friends is to talk about with them. Maybe they can point out all your good qualtites and get you away from the bad and negativity. Also, when you wake up in the morning say at least 3 good positive things about yourself, and I guarantee you, that youll get over this self esteem thing.
Best of luck! No more negativity, be happy!!! :)
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Okay--to start off, usually girls become insecure or have low self esteem issues when they don't feel beautiful. Others, may not have many friends and feel lost because of that. You have not specified which of these you are, but either way, i'll try to help as best I can.
If you feel like you're a nobody and as you said, uncomfortable in your own skin, then what I think you should do is write a list of all of the good qualities you possess (don't say you don't have any, because everyone has good qualities), like you're funny, you make friends easily, you know how to make people feel good about themselves...and read it to yourself as many times a day everyday until you feel comfortable.
Some people feel like they're not beautiful, and if that isn't extremely sad, then I don't know what is. You need to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful in every aspect of the word. If you need confidence, have your friends help you. Friends are friends for a reason, and that reason is to help you in times of need. If you feel this unsteady, have a talk with them (or even a parent or older sibling) and tell them to help you.
You are you, and that's all you can be, but you can't be down on yourself and questioning your actions. Feel positive. Be positive. That's the only way you're going to get places.
The only person standing in your way of change is you. YOU saying YOU have low self esteem and no confidence only makes YOU feel worse. Tell yourself that you love who you are and love what you do because you're a great person.
If you feel like you can feel wonderful if you change, then do it! No one else can do it for you. You can do it, don't hesistate to feel good about who you are.
Hope this helped!
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Oh my gosh. Okay I have gone through the same thing. It really is very hard. What you have to do is just believe in yourself. I have low self esteem too. try standing in front of a mirror and giving yourself at least one compliment a day. You will in time learn that you aren't a bad person at all. Now, the taking it out on other people thing. Don't do this. It will push people away. Try talking to the person calmly about what's going on. It's also always okay to ask people to help you. Don't ever be afraid to do that. Good luck =]
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