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My friend and her "suicidal plans"...
Sorry if this is the wrong category. I CANNOT take this anymore! She is driving me crazy! When I say "bad things" about her, please don't hate on me for that, just please help me and give me advice. Ok, so she says she hates her life and is gonna commit suicide sometime. She's all happy about it too! She's like "yay I'm gonna die soon, and commit suicide! awesome! :DDDDD" I don't buy any of this AT ALL. The thing is, she has said things like this PLENTY of times before. Yet, nothing happens. I'm tired of her talking about things like that when she doesn't do anything. She just puts on this lil act! I do care about it. When I tell her and try to help her, she just ignores me! I talk to her on aim a lot... so I know she probably reads it, she just ignores and doesn't care about anything i say. She's like in-denial... She just disagrees with what i have to say, like if I say "you have many positive things in your life, you're just thinking about the negative too much that you're completely ignoring everything and you don't realize anything!", she just says "My life is stupid" or something like that. I just wanna scream "YOU'RE STUPID!" (no offense.) Her parents won't do anything about it. Her parents DO know about her "suicide" thoughts. It drives me COMPLETELY insane because she knows nothing about "suicide" and stuff. She has changed so much from 6th grade. I don't know what has gotten into her. Now, she says she's going to drop out of school cause she's sick and tired of everything and almost everyone in it. She just doesn't understand things. My friends is only in 8th grade! I don't believe her. She also said she was gonna die before her 14th birthday. Which is coming up on December 1. Something else that I don't believe, since it's basically impossible, is that she said something about "I'm going to die/I've been wanting to die since I was BORN"... She wasn't at school today. Now she says she won't EVER come back. Her parents don't do ANYTHING. They let her "jip" school today! I'm just tired of her. I'm sorry. I'm in fact helping her, and giving her advice at this moment. She doesn't understand anything! Like how life can be SO SUCKY but yet you should be GRATEFUL for even having a chance at life. Because you know she's hating life right now, when many innocent people have had their life taken from them. I'm so confused by her... I can't really explain/describe everything. I wish I could cause i could get better advice. I'm sorry to this this, but everything she says, I think it's complete BS!!! and it's driving me CRAZY! I'm getting so frustrated right now. Again, I think she doesn't understand the pain that other people have gone through. Then she goes and talks about things when she doesn't even "understand them correctly." It makes me wanna say "before you go and say stupid things, would you please at least get a better understaning of things and learn them correctly?!" *sighhhh* She keeps talking about stupid things like that. Like, "where are my poisons so I can suicide right now?!" that was no typo.... but I'm SO tired of her "happy joyful" act when you mentions things like that. If she talks about dying, she acts "happy." I don't buy it at all. I can't tell if she's for real or putting on an act. I think it may be both. I don't mean to sound like a bitchy friend either. Sorry for any profanity I may use. I'm not sure what to do anymore. Telling her parents, well that won't work. Giving her advice myself and trying to help her? I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing sooo much to try and help her. Her ignorance is getting on my nerves. x| Right now she keeps saying how "everyone's lives" and everyone will be better and happier without her. I know how she feels. Sometimes, you have to deal with things right? and wait for things to get better? I don't even believe in half of the advice I give sometimes, though I believe it will be able to help others. Please help! I don't know what to do! I'm going absolutely crazy and I'm getting so infuriated! =|.... thank you for any advice! Also, I prefer more experience people to answer this. No offense, but if I get short advice, I don't think that will help much unless you have something important to say in a short amount of words!!
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You can't change, fix or otherwise alter people, that's life. Let her go. She'll have to fend for herself and that could make her grow up. Also, be careful about giving advice to these types of people. While many of them are just seeking attention, some of them mean it when they say they'll kill themselves. You may want to alert someone trained in the field of psychiatry/psychology to help her work herself out.
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She certainly keeps your attention doesn't she?
She loves it. Since her parents already know
about it, and choose to do nothing, they will
be the ones at fault should she ever carry out
her threats. NOT YOU. Know that right now.
This will be tough to do but I think you should
be the one to start ignoring her. Maybe even
stop talking to her all together. She is feeding
off of your reactions to all this and it may
be the only solution.
Look, you have tried. The truth is you are not
a professional therapist. There is really not
a thing you can do to make her see things right.
Even if you were a professional you wouldn't
be treating a friend.
All you are getting out of this friendship
is aggravation & worry. You don't need that.
You can't allow her problems to put you into
a depression yourself.
You cannot save her, if she really even needs saving. I don't mean that to sound bad. I
simply mean if she is not putting on a big act for sympathy and attention. Which is possible. You and I though aren't qualified to make that call. We have to assume she is serious.
My advice is to stop hanging out with her and
talking to her on AIM. When she asks why just
tell her you refuse to hear any more of it. If
she stops, great. Hang out with her again.
BUT, the very minute she starts in again, leave.
Walk away, go offline on AIM, whatever it takes.
Do it enough times and she will start to take
you seriously. You have to stick with it and
not listen to it anymore.
Good luck.
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