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Only seeing the bad in people?

Question Posted Thursday September 18 2008, 12:00 am

Do you think it's wrong to only ever look at the bad in people? I always seem to see the good in people. I was trying to explain to my friend that I think people should not just look at the bad in people, but also the good (we were talking about this upcoming presidential election). She thinks i'm stupid for even thinking it, and that you have to see the bad in people. Do you agree with me or do you agree with my friend? Am I wrong to be offended by this? Let me know what you think. I mean if you've ever done something bad in your life do you want everyone to focus on only that? Or do you want them to see the good things you've done too?

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heyimcaro answered Thursday September 18 2008, 4:27 pm:
My friend and I are exactly like this: I always see the positive and disregard the negative most of the time, and she always looks for the worst in people. I absolutely hate this, and I think it's a very jaded way to live your life if you only pick out the bed things about people. So I definitely agree with you.

I like meeting new people and making new friends (and since I just started college, this is a great outlook to have). I always look for the best in the people I meet, not the worst. I've found that if you look for the negative side all the time, then once you find it, it becomes the biggest part of how you view someone (like when you think of that person, that bad quality they have comes to mind). I hate that idea and like to do the opposite.

I read a quote not too long ago that's something like "Don't call me naive just because I don't always look for the worst in a person." Some people are going to say you're naive about the world because you have a positive, optimistic outlook. But they're the ones that need to have a little more faith in humanity!

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surferchick16 answered Thursday September 18 2008, 4:01 pm:
Personally, I think its an awesome qualtiy in a person to be able to see the good. So if you do see the good then kudos to you. I generally look for the good in people but I am very negative about myself. Its unhealthy because I am limiting myself by looking at the bad in me. So if you look for the bad you will find it, its theres, in fact its easier to see the bad then the good. Its okay to acknowledge somethings that are bad so that you can learn from it, but if all you do is see the bad, then somethings wrong. What I notice is everyone says the world is the bad place, but thats b/c we read about the bad, if we actually tried to be good, and do good, then the world will be so much better off. Look at it this way, our life on earth is so temporary and short, so don't waste time with the bad, b/c in the end itll still be there. But if you can do something somewhere, and leave it better off then it was when you found it, then you have done your purpose, you have done good, for those around to see and follow. Make a difference, and yes you are right on track by seeing the good, keep it up!!

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triquetra answered Thursday September 18 2008, 3:40 pm:
Well, I think that it is a good thing that you should see both sides of a person: the good and the bad because if you just see the good, then when that person does something which you wouldn't have expected them to do, then you're in for a shock and then left confused about how you see that person.

Trust me on this, I've been there and done that and I found that if you just see the bad in others, you get a very balanced view of that person. And especially if it's something as important as presidential elections, because how you view that candidate, affects how you see the other person as well.

When somebody does a little bad thing, people can brush it off because they still know the real you and they know that you're not always like that. But if it is something big like murder or something of that nature, and you don't know that person, naturally, people will hold that against you for the rest of your life and it's difficult for you to change how they see you.

I'm kinda in that situation (but not with the murder thank goodness!!!) where my school friends kinda see me as this crazy person who's uptight and a little sadistic, but in reality, I'm not like that at all. I'm really a fun person to be around, a person who's willing to offer help and just listen to people if they've got a problem and can be quite funny sometimes! So you see? It's important for you to know a person through and through, the good and the bad, otherwise you may find it hard to change your views of that person later on if they do something which you'd never expected them to do.

I hope this helped,

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