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My Boyfriends Mom....
Okay,
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 months now. In the beginning of the relationship everything was perfect he moved in with my family and is now living with me. Everything is still great but sometime early August his Mother and her boyfriend came down for a visit and stayed at a motel 5 minutes from my house...and I had to drive into the city to pick his mom up which is about (25-30 min drive) and she was supposed to stay for the weekend and ended up staying 4 days and for all the 4 days she was down I drove her and her boyfriend EVERYWHERE! and she only gave me 10 dollars for gas money. Ugh, To be honest I met my boyfriends mother once and I just hate her with a passion. I try to be respectful and nice because he is my boyfriends mother but I honestly can't stand her at all. I hate it when she calls my house wanting to talk to my boyfriend because she smootches off him sooooo much and it drives me up a wall. My boyfriends mom was on a housing list and she tried to get my boyfriend to sign the lease when he had no intention of even living with her. I told him he needs to make his own choices but if he signs a lease he will get screwed in the long run etc. She tried to get her boyfriend to move in along with my boyfriend signing the lease for her and the landlord didn't know about her trying to sneak him in. So when my boyfriend called the apartment complex to talk to the landlord he mentioned his mom had a boyfriend etc and now she called up my house saying on the answer machine how she didn't want to talk to her son because she is pissed at him etc. I don't know what to do! Ugh, I don't want her calling my house anymore but I also don't want to get in the middle of her and my boyfriend.. and I know that if she ever visits again I will be the taxi again and I honestly don't want that.
Any Advice!
*At witts end!*
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First, talk to your boyfriend and definitely let him know you didn't appreciate having to drive HIS mom and her boyfriend EVERYWHERE. If he sees that it upset you and made you mad, he'll be a little more considerate next time.
You can't make a man pick between his girlfriend and his mom. It'll only be a heartbreaking decision. As much of a pain as his mother sounds like, sometimes you just have to accept her in order to be happy with your boyfriend.
Whatever you do, don't let him sign those papers. If he does, he's responsible for everything that goes on in that house. The rent, any damage, bills, etc. Let him know and make sure it's pounded in his brain that he will be signing his life over for his mother, pretty much.
It's hard for him to tell his mother "no" considering she is his mother, after all. But there is only so much she can push him to do until he needs to draw the line.
This sounds like the perfect time to tell her point blank -- NO! She's a grown woman, she shouldn't be depending on her son to support her when she has a boyfriend of her own.
Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that he doesn't have to do any of that for her. It's alright for a visit from her every now and then but why should you have to take them everywhere? After all, it is HIS mom, not yours. Not yet, anyways ;] Let him know, that if she comes back to visit, you refuse to pick her up or drive her anywhere because it's not really your responsibility to do so.
I'm not saying be rude to the lady, but by only giving you $10 to take her and her boyfriend everywhere, is a little ridiculous. So in a non-hurtful way, just let your boyfriend know that you don't mind them visiting, but you're not going to be used by them. Put your foot down.
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