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Who's lying?
I'm 21/f, the guys are 21 and 23. They're both generally childish, but one of them is brutally honest. One of them lies, but sucks at it...but this is quite a bit more subtle than a lie, which is why I'm confused.
I dated the 23 year old for awhile, and we've had kind of an on-and-off relationship for about three years. We've settled into a very solid friendship, and have always been honest with each other about everything, whether it was really necessary to say it or not. (Which actually led to some fights of ours.)
The 21 year old is my ex's friend, and we dated for about a month in one of the off-times before I realized what a mistake it was and ended it. This guy has another girlfriend, and they've exchanged "promise rings," whatever that means. We've hung out sporadically, mostly as gym buddies, and he's always been fine.
Today, mister 23 let me in on an interesting exchange he had with 21. Apparently, 21 called me a "f*cking whore," to which 23 responded with a long string of accusations and swear words, leaving 21's house and not answering his phone calls. This was totally random and uncalled for. I don't know the context of the conversation, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it to 23, but it's bothering me.
What I'm trying to figure out is if it's true or not. When I dated him, 23 tended to twist things. Thus, fights ended with my apologies instead of his, etc. I learned a lot from him, though, and he doesn't have the ability to confuse me like that now, nor does he want to. It crossed my mind that he might have told me that little story to stop me from hanging out with 21, but since I hardly see him anymore anyway, and 23 knows that, I don't see the point.
If 21 thinks I'm such a whore, then why does he randomly call me asking to hang out? 23 and I hung out for awhile today, and 21 called both of us within 5 minutes. Neither of us answered. I'm thoroughly confused as to what's going on at this point. Both of them could theoretically have ulterior motives, and I can't really talk to either of them about this without making waves. Generally I don't have an issue doing that, but 23 and I just bounced back from something pretty bad. The last thing we want is to be mad at each other over something stupid when we're trying to remember why we connected in the first place.
What do you guys think?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
23 obviously has feelings for you, and im guessing 21 has some feelings for you also. he may be dating somebody else but he still likes you. & it sounds like 23 doesnt want you talking much to 21, hes probably jaelous. and 21 might have called you a fuking whore, but maybe only because hes mad that you and 23 are talking/hanging out a lot more. when me and my ex broke up, i would call him an asshole to everyone just because i was mad that we didnt talk much anymore, even tho i didnt really think he was an asshole, its just the anger coming out.
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Before I even got to the part where you think the same, I thought, "23 is jealous." I don't think
I'd rule that out.
You may not see him as often but, maybe he has a problem with you talking to him on the phone or anything. Maybe 21 made some remarks that made 23 think 21 still may like you.
I know you don't want to make waves but I'd ask
21 exactly what he said. You may not want to
argue with 23 right now, but if he is telling stories its important to know that. It doesn't
have to end in a battle, but you should let
him know if you've caught him in a lie.
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