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boyfriend who lies VERY frequently
15/f
Well, the title pretty much explains it.
Last night i got really mad at my boyfriend "dan" we'll call him.
We were having a normal phone convo and having a good time and laughing.
When, he asks the question "How many boyfriends have you had baby?"
and we've talked about this so many times, and he KNOWS how many i've had.
I'm the ONLY girlfriend he's ever had, and i know it. His best friend told me, and he certainly has a number of times.
So i tell him "Four."
And he goes 'I mean, real boyfriends that you kiss and stuff, not go out for a day and dump"
and i said "well in that case its you."
and he snickers and goes "I've had nine"
Me: NINE?! you always told me i was the only one.
him: well, i didn't want to make you feel bad.
Me: but then why did you freak out when we kissed for the first time? You always told me that was the best night of you life because you got your first kiss.
Him: I meant on a date.
Me: .... so what are the girls' names?
He never even told me their names, i forget wat excuse he used but all i know is i felt like crying on the phone.
I know what you guys are thinking that he might be teling the truth.
If you know him like i know him, you would most definatley tell me hes lying. He lies to me ALL THE TIME.
And he think i wont notice, i'm not stupid, i notice and then i ask him about it and then he lies some more.
he tells me he loves me all the time but when he lies to me it just makes me think hes doing it to make me feel horrible.
for example, we'll be in the pool and my top will fall just a tiny bit down, but i'll fix it right away.
Then i'll joke around and say "You didnt see anything did you?"
and he'll say "yeah, actually i did."
and just things like tha he does to make me feel horrible?
I really don;t know, he says he loves me, and i love him.
And this may sound like B.S
but to tell you the truth i've never lied to him before.
and its just other lies here and there.
Like, ill say "Ohmygod imagine if someone did _____"
and he'll say
"Ive done that before"
and i KNOW hes lying.
It makes me feel like he doesnt care about me, and that hes going out of his way to hurt my feelings.
has anyone ever had this happen to them?
Please help.
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Actually i think its the other way around.
It sounds like he is embarassed because you have gone out with other people, and he hasn't.
I know that guys say "oh yeahh i have done" or i have dated this many girls all the time because they feel embarrassed because they have less then their gf's or their friends.
with the 9 gf thing... if his friends say he has never had a gf before then that is probably the truth. and i could see if he said he had like one or two before you but NINE? thats ridiculus.
He is probably just trying to get one up on you, because he feels threatened. But i doubt he is purposely trying to hurt your feelings. Only you really know him. Maybe you are taking the things he says too literally and he is just kidding. But next time he says one of these lies, tell him that they are insulting to you. And ask him if hes kidding or not. It may help, it may not. But its better than letting him go on doing that.
i hope this helps!
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I would say, as hard as it might be, dump him. You need a guy you can trust. Right now he is just lying about small things, but if he's okay with lying about this, he'll be fine with lying about important stuff. The main component of any relationship is trust. Without trust it's not a real relationship. Since you obviously can't trust him it's not a good place to be in.
There are a few reasons why he may be doing this:
1. He has a mental problem that makes you feel like you need to lie about everything, no matter how big or small. This actually does exist and is pretty common. If this is the case, it is not someone you should get serious with.
2. He thinks these lies make him look cool, either to you or to others around you. Even though they just make him look like the jerk he is being, to him it looks like he is cool because of these things he is saying happened.
3. He really just like to mess with you. Which is a terrible thing.
So no matter the reason, you should probably break it off with him.
Sorry.
Best of luck.
Hope I've been of help to you.
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i know exactly how you feel
sometimes guys think that if they say pervy stuff about what they've done with girls it will make them more desirable, when really it just makes them total jackasses.
you need to talk to him about how much it hurts when he puts you down and lies to you. be ready to have a situtaion if he asks "when have i lied to you?" because then that will make him realize that that hurts you.
it okay to be in love, but if this guys is not going to love you like you love him then there's another guy out there who will
good luck <3
kelly!
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