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Feeling close.
I have issues with feeling close to people. My family had to move periodically up until three years ago. So now, I keep feeling like I should move soon but we obviously don't. So it's like my subconscious doesn't want me to get close.
Even with my best friend, I feel like I actually can't tell her everything. She tells me everything, but I can't do the same.
It's pretty much like I'd prefer to be alone. But I really do want to hang out more with people. It's just really hard. Once I do start talking about what's going on, you can't stop me. It's just hard to reach that point.
My question is how can I start feeling closer? I don't want to be alone, but feel like I have to.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
No one has to be alone- actually no one can be alone in this world. That is exactly why you feel that there is a void in your life that only good friends can fill. But being alone is your safety blanket. Being along means not getting hurt, and it can mean being self-reliant. But it also means feeling alienated, shut off, lonely, bored, detached...
Throughout my college years, I felt more alone than you could imagine. I was in a new city, hardly had any good friends, didn't go out enough. I regret it- all of it. Was it a safety net for me? Yes. But did I learn anything from it? Absolutely not. It was, for the most part, an unfulfilling time of my life because I pretty much shut my social life off by choice. You don't have to...and you really shouldn't. It really wasn't until AFTER college that I started to open up more and make an effort to establish friendships. I am so much happier because of it. I am also like you, once you get me talking, I can go on and on... so you know what? You ARE social, you just need to feel comfortable.
You are not going to feel comfortable around your friends until you make an effort. Start small- go out somewhere- out to dinner, coffee, etc., and make it a habit to keep in touch. Call and set up plans, and trust me, your friends will reciprocate. As for your best friend, stop consciously thinking to yourself that you cannot open up around her- because then you won't. You need to find common ground, go out more, and start opening up to her. If for some other reason you feel like you really can't or shouldn't open up to her, then you aren't obliged to. But if it's just you, and not her, then really try to relax and make more of an effort.
Starting to feel close to your friends begins with taking initiative to socialize more and keep in touch. You might even consider having a dinner night or movie night- something along those lines so you have something to look forward to. If you let down your guard, you will start to feel closer to people...slowly, but surely.
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