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first time
okay so many people or teens these days are having sex. and me and my boyfriend had been dating for almost 3 years now but I feel as if I don't show him I love him enough. he knows I love him and we've been talking about having sex but we're sure that we wanna do it and we wanna be safe and it's our first time. so will it hurt or feel good during the first time you had sex? will the condom slip off?
I'm just trying to be safe that's all.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
you dont have to have sex. one of the persons who replied said it not how peoplle talk about it. wait. wait till the time is right.arriage is the right time. if i got that advice i wouldnt have done it.
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you know what,, just enjoy every bit of your life. sex can wait.. if the guy really loves you, even if you don't give your virginity. he will not leave you
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Love does not mean having sex. Having sex is not a sign of love. I can prove it.
Prostitutes. They go out EVERY evening and have sex with various clients. Do they love their clients? No.
I think if you've made it this long without sexual contact then you should wait it out. Make wedding night super extra special for you both. It would show him how much you love her by waiting all of that time, showing him that sex has not been what you were after this whole time and that your relationship could survive with just you two communicating and not worrying about sex and the troubles it comes with. It really is one of those ultimate forms of love. To look back and to realize how much each of you cared about one another is something you can proudly tell your children when they are older and have girlfriends/boyfriends.
Married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Also, giving your virginity to your partner on wedding night shows a huge amount of love--to save yourself for that special day, for that special person, through all of those years. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
I'm really proud of you two that you haven't given into peer pressure for three years, but I must ask--why now?
You two should be making lasting memories that you can share when you're 80. Memories that you'll look back and be able to tell grand-children, "I remember when your grandfather and I..."
The first time is not going to feel good for the woman. It hardly ever does. The problem is this:
If your relationship NEEDS sex to prove love then sex is going to break the relationship. Sex is not what people claim it is and that's why many people sleep around. Those people sleeping around are looking for that oh-so-wonderful sex they were told about and figure it must come along somewhere.
I know people who have broken up with boyfriends/girlfriends because the sex wasn't good. Seriously. I am not kidding. I have heard of many people saying how in love they are, but after having sex they become obsessed with sex and end up breaking up because the love fades off and all that is there is desire.
Sex can break a couple sometimes and I'm sure you don't want that. I've seen couples break up because they just weren't compatible in the bed (someone was too shy, someone had a kink, someone didn't like something the other loved, etc). Those couples made too big of a deal out of it. They wanted sparks to fly and for it to be special and perfect and when it wasn't what they expected they were highly disappointed.
Seriously, please reconsider.
Think of the serious consequences that your relationship may end up having to go through if you begin engaging in sex. One of these is pregnancy costs, scares, expenses:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
One of the risks to put your relationship through is STDs/STIs, which people CAN be BORN with:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
How could you forgive a partner for transmitting an STD to you? How could you get over getting pregnant and giving birth to a mentally ill child? What happens if the relationship gets rocky and a pregnancy occurs--what happens then? There are too many factors that will add a load of pressure on you relationship, and could break it down in a matter of days.
Some ideas for fun, neat things to do together are:
Rollerskating/blading, snuggling up and reading a long book together, taking a walk together, make dinner together, go to a nice restaurant neither of you have been to, visit local attractions, help with chores (especially the ones he doesn't like; many couples say this is particularly loving of their mate), paint pictures or even his room together (get approval from parents if you do this), throw a party and invite all of his friends for you to meet again, watch old cartoons and bring back childhood memories, go swimming together, have a campfire and roast marshmallows with friends and family, go dancing together, create a photo album or scrapbook together, play a board game, etc.
Make good, lasting memories of the short period of time you get to be together. It may seem like having sex is a big deal and you'll remember it forever but you two , most likely, won't as the years go by. Everyone does it. It isn't special.
Wouldn't you two like to look back years down the road and have giggles about the silly things you remember and the good times you had during the week? You'll be able to tell your future friends and possible children and grandchildren all about the neat things you two used to do together.
Love is not sex and sex is not love. Anyone can have sex. Prostitutes have sex every day in every way with many different people and they never love any of them.
Show him you love him by doing something else. Don't fall into the stupid teenage crowd.
You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. Anyone can have sex. Lots of people have sex with each other every day and don't have the slightest bit of care for their sexual partner. Having sex isn't proving anything to anybody.
Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. Even if you're dead set on losing your virginity, it's still really interesting to look at. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I hope you reconsider and choose to do the right thing. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. Condoms are only 88% effective with TYPICAL usage. Hormonal birth control pills are only actually about 93% with TYPICAL usage. The pull-out method is about 75% effective if done in the typical manner. Do you really want to risk your relationship?
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All of those questions really depend on the person. Most likely it will hurt the first time. If you want it to be more enjoyable of an experience, then take some time exploring yourself or ease into it gently with some foreplay with your partner. If you get used to each other's bodies it shouldn't be as bad or as painful.
And as for the condom slipping off - well that can happen to anybody. No one can really forsee that happening. All you can do is make sure he gets the right size condoms and that he applies it properly, and hope for the best.
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