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freind with benefits
i had sex with this guy, and we'vehung out many times after and we're still friends. He always IMs me and talks to me on the phone but i cant tell if he jsut kinda lieks me, or lies me alot. Hes told me that he likes me but i know he also liked other girls then too, and he doenst want a relationship. I dont want to be in a relationship now either but i just want to find out if he likes me more than i liek him. so how can i find this out? i cant just straight out ask him because im afriad it will be awkward.
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I hate to say this but...
When he said that he likes you he was only saying it so you would hang on, and so that he could continue taking what he can from you.
Being friends with benefits has the drawback that one side usually ends up developing feelings for the other side. Typically the female of this sort of situation ends up doing this, which is obvious what has happened here (you even give him hints that you are interested in him).
The problem is this:
The guy wants what he can get from you. He realizes that you have feelings for him and is afraid that if he tells you that he simply does not see you as girlfriend material that you will leave and he cannot use you any more. In other words, he's leading you on so that you'll stick around.
I don't mean to sound harsh but this is probably what is really happening:
You're easy and he doesn't see himself getting many "easy" girls. He wants to keep you hanging on so you don't go away and he's left with no sexual contact again.
Most guys (not all, of course) tend to be driven by their hormones, especially when they're young (even throughout their 20s). These guys quickly learn how to "play the game" to the best advantages they can receive. He has, most likely, learned how to string you along and will do so until you completely leave from frustration.
Forget this guy and move on.
You shouldn't allow yourself to be used like this anyway--you are better than that and you deserve to be treated like a lady.
He really just isn't that into you.
Even if this was to spur some sort of real relationship, it simply wouldn't last. The entire basis of the relationship would be sex, and those relationships burn out very quickly. He's interested in what you can give him, not who you are.
He has no special feelings to you because you aren't special to him. He sees you as someone he can use and drop whenever he wants. He'll lead you on, keeping you hanging and hoping, but won't ever develop feelings for you the way you may develop feelings for him.
Stop worrying if he likes you.
He likes that he can have sex with you.
That's all.
Seriously.
There is no point in asking him if he likes you. He'll give you answers that will make you "stay" in the situation with him. I promise, they never come out and say to your face that they don't like who you are but only care about what they're getting from you.
I hope things turn around and you realize what sort of situation you have put yourself in. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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it might be awkward, But it'd be nice to get things out with, and you'd feel alot better, because maybe he wants the same thing as you, You never know.
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