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Me & My Personal Trainer ?!?!
Hi! Ok so I'm 19 and early in the summer joined a gym. Im already skinny but I really wanted to tone up. So me and my guy friend got a personal trainer. After 3 weeks together I sent him a text thanking him for working with me. He's 24 and gorgeous by the way. After that day he would always text me, and talk to me at the gym flirtaciously. I didn't think anything of it because I thought its his job to be nice, but one day he told me how he thought I was hot. Or that he wants to get to know me. After a month every trainer knew my name and saw how my trainer acted towards me. Last thursday he texts me saying how sexy I am and stuff. And I guess I got the txt really delayed because I texted him back at 11:15pm. On Friday morning I get a call from an unknown number- It's my trainer's girlfriend!!! Mind you, I had no idea he had a girlfriend, and if he did I wouldn't be talking to him. So we talk and she as well as I appreciated knowing whats going on. Yesterday I see my trainer and he acts like nothing happened and yells "Hey Marlene!" Today I went to pilates and 2 other trainers are at the desk and stare me down and start smiling. Im a little self-conscious of whats going on. Are they making fun of me because they knew he already had a girlfriend? Or whats going on? I'm open to all opinions.
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Hi,
There could be a number of reasons why the other trainers were laughing at you. He could have told them that he was messing around with your head or that the two of you had some kind of fling together.
There is really now way to tell. You're going to drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out.
Whatever the reason, don't give it another thought. You know what went down and that's all that really matters.
He's no good. He showed you that.
Keep your head up and keep working out. If you're too uncomfortable, try and switch to another club.
Good luck,
P.S. Don't bother talking to him about it. He's not worth your time.
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Count yourself lucky...better yet, give yourself credit for doing the right thing. You dodged a major bullet by finding out about the girlfriend before you got played. This is good experience to have and get away with unscathed. Precisely why your mother and other wise women know to go slow and stay in control of the situation and get to really know someone before getting involved emotionally and physically. He is just one jerk in a sea of jerks...now you have a little better sense of what to avoid in the future. If you had jumped into the sack with him the gym would probably be abuzz with that info. but you didn't, so there is really nothing for them to gossip about, so don't "sweat it."
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My opinion: Don't worry about it. I doubt the other gym employees are making fun of you.
Here's why: while I'm sure the gym probably encourages general friendliness and maybe even a little flirting... I doubt they would encourage flirting off the clock. Why? Because romantic relationships between a customer and an employee are usually a bad idea and can impact business if anything goes wrong. With that said, he shouldn't have been texting you in the first place.
Second, his girlfriend shouldn't have called. She shouldn't be going through his phone... She shouldn't be calling and confronting people without confronting HIM first. Her calling you impacts HIS job... And that was a BIG no-no.
Think about this situation from his perspective... If his boss finds out about what happened, he could get into trouble. Maybe not fired... But if I had been his boss I would have made some excuse why he couldn't be your personal trainer anymore and tried to assign you to someone else. I don't know how things work in a gym so I could be wrong... But I have been a manager for years and his behavior sounds unprofessional.
So... I doubt that he would have told his associates what happened... Because the best way to keep a secret is not to say anything at all. I doubly doubt it because... If I were him, I would have been mortified by the situation and wouldn't want to compound my own embarrassment by telling other people.
There is also the chance that... His girlfriend never said anything. By telling him that she spoke to you, she's admitting that she invaded his privacy and incriminating herself. He may not even know what happened and the odd behavior could be attributed to your own paranoia.
And... Let's say worse-case-scenario... That I'm wrong and everybody knows. What if they are talking about you behind your back? So what? It doesn't matter what they think of you anyway. You're their CUSTOMER and their JOB is to provide you with a service. You are their paycheck. Without YOUR money, they don't pay their bills.
I'd stop texting this guy. If he texts you, don't respond. If you feel uncomfortable around him, ask for another trainer. If you feel uncomfortable in the gym period... Then ask for the nearest location and have your account transferred. Remember... YOU ARE THE CUSTOMER.
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Well first off, don't feel self-conscious. If I'm understanding correctly it didn't get farther than texting, so you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. Besides, you didn't know he had a girlfriend. I don't think that the people at the gym were making fun of you inparticular. I am going to be brutally honest for a sec and say that I doubt you are the first girl he's done this to. With that, they may have been looking at you thinking "there's another victim". I'm not trying to be rude, so please don't take it that way. I wouldn't worry about this guy. Just keep it strictly gym. Don't text him and don't respond to his texts. You sound like one of those girls I hated lol. I don't mean really hated, but was jealous of! =P I'm sure you have several choices as far as guys go. If you feel extremely uncomfortable, you can always work with a different trainer. But my advice to you is continue your membership. Let him do his job and you do what you are there for...nothing more! I hope I helped and I hope that things go well for you.
Good luck girlie!
<3 Leslie
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